DO YOU LIKE RECIPES, COMPANY!? Good, because I have a God-damn recipe for you.
1- 12 oz. bottle of Miller High Life
1 - futon
1 - comforter
1 - stairwell to the Worldwide Headquarters Sublevel 3
1 - Dutch Door
457 - Important Documents
1.) Preheat oven to 375ºF.
2.) Place futon approximately 4 ft. from bottom of stairwell.
3.) Place comforter over futon.
4.) Spread important documents evenly across comforter.
5.) Install Dutch door at top of stairwell. Leave top half open.
6.) Set 12 oz. bottle of Miller High Life (for maximum foam) on top of half open Dutch door.
7.) Let beer rest for 10-15 minutes.
8.) Once beer has rested 10-15 minutes, hastily open bottom half of Dutch door.
If mixed correctly, as the bottle of High Life should proceed to cartwheel down the stairwell, spewing beer and covering ever surface thereof. Once reaching the bottom of the stairwell, it should bounce once high into the air, covering all of the important documents, all of the comforter, and portions of the futon with delicious beer.
Do not set. Consume immediately before beer dries. Use caution as bottle may break during execution of the recipe.