Wednesday, March 08, 2017

Not Quite All the Way to the Moon

     It may seem like a recent thing, but people have been loving others to the moon for a long time.  Maybe not always back, but to the moon at least.


Hidden inside of that clip, kind of around, behind and in spite of the blatant threats of domestic abuse, is the fact that Ralph Kramden, for as many times as he threatened to send Alice "to the moon," was way ahead of his time. Because now, everyone loves everyone to the moon and back, and I have no idea what the hell that means.
     Come on girls, this is a girl thing.  It has to be.  I typed it into the search bar on Pinterest and it came up with three hundred billion different results.  I typed into the search bar on Maxim.com and it brought up an article about Arsenio Hall getting a late night talk show.  So come on ladies, it is International Women's Day, help me out.  The Internet coughed up this tasty morsel for me:


Bullshit.  Nope.  I call something even more immense and significant that bullshit:


Nobody, absolutely nobody, thinks of that twenty miles of truck thing when they are posting on Facebook that they love their teenage son to the moon and back.  All they are thinking about is that is a really trendy phrase and that they love their kid. But it is becoming overused, and it is becoming cliche. Sorry, no accent marks.
    In reality, despite what random things on the internet might say (see above), they origin of the phrase is pretty simple as far as I can figure out.  The moon is a long ass ways away.  And when that first mom told that first five year old that she "loves you to the moon and back" it was the easiest way to make that little child understand the immensity of her love.  And it works great for that.  But your 22 year old daughter.  She knows a little bit more than just the moon.  So maybe let's use some grown up words and phrases.  Or old Ralphie boy will give it to you...POW! Right in the kisser.