|This guy loves eagles quite a bit.|
Your bird crush infatuation is a lot like your man crush on Tom Brady, though, and once you start to sort of peel away the layers of the rhetoric and majestic photos you will find that your precious eagles are not all that they seem to be. Hell, even Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey as the national bird, and that guy knew what he was talking about. He founded America and banged everyone in France. Including Lady Liberty.
First off, you aren't even all that infatuated with eagles as a whole, just bald eagles. You don't care about other eagles, because I haven't seen a lot of web cams in golden eagle nests. And if you saw a black eagle sitting on the side of the road you would probably scream "TEN POINTS" and swerve to hit it with your car. You would also be in Asia because that is where black eagles live (Fun fact: The only two species of eagle native to North America are the bald eagle and the golden eagle, so you have already forsaken half of the species you might see around your house.)
|Enjoy your dead animal, wedge tail eagle.|
Truth be told, Company, I don't really have anything against eagles. They are fine. What I really rebel against is this infatuation that everyone has with them. In the tradition of the goth kids from South Park, I have to go against whatever everyone likes. And, as an added bonus, eagles are a dime a dozen around the Worldwide Headquarters. I see them all the time, especially in the summertime. This, I believe, is mostly due to the fact that I release them on a regular basis as if they are doves or Internet viruses, but they are everywhere. So they aren't really special to me, if that makes sense. If it doesn't it will next time we are together and I am excited to see a PF Chang's. Familiarity breeds contempt, right?
|Apparently these are the jabronis I am trying to impress.|