Monday, October 05, 2015

The H is O

     I am not sure if you know this, Company, but not too long after we here at Big Dave and Company built our elaborate Worldwide Headquarters, I sent out for some unpaid interns from the local ag school to plant me a top notch garden on the roof of the main building, in the grand tradition.  And right in the middle I instructed them to put a sweet fire pit, a fire pit which I filled with dead grass, weeds, and other assorted debris from my yard, also in the grand tradition. 
    Well I made the mistake of telling some of them that I was going to light the things in my fire pit on fire, and soon they were all clamoring for a spot around my campfire.  It was BYOB, to they BTOB, which when mixed with the radio and some sparkling conversation, came to be a pretty nice time.  But too nice a time, because soon there were more requests.  No, wait, I lied.  Soon there were more demands.
The Worldwide Headquarters is located inside a Dire Straits video
     First came the demands from the people who decided not to show the first time.  "When are you going to have another fire, Mr. Media Mogul with nothing better to do?"  "I thought that maybe you were going to have a fir tonight so I can drink beers in your backyard."  And so on and do forth.  Then, the cries and the devious plans and the e-mails back and forth reached an undeniable crescendo.  "We had such a nice time, you must have another fire."  So the fire is on I guess.
     But I have been resisting.  I am not for this not even a little bit.  Because it is not the same.  Now the H is O.  THE. HEAT. IS. ON.  Pun not intended but I wish it were.  Because all these people had a nice time at the first fire but not they want another.  The expectation is there.  The pressure is on.  And that never leads to anything but disaster.
     Here is the thing, Company.  Sometimes, things just happen.  And in fact, the best things usually just happen.   And when you try to recreate that moment that just happened, it never lives up to the expectation and the hype.  The sequel is never as good as the first movie, am I right?  Go watch Major League 2 and tell me how that goes for you.  Now, when you are done with that, go watch Smokey and the Bandit 3, tell me how that one is working out for you, and then maybe realize that you shouldn't be taking movie recommendations from me because that movie is terrible and you will never get that hour and a half of your life back.  I thought you would have figured that out by now.
     Anyway, the first fire had a certain magic because all of the elements sort of just came together in the most unexpected way.  The fire.  The people.  The starry night.  The alcohol had a lot to do with it I am sure.  But all of those bits of recipe were present in just the right quantities with just the right cooking time and temperature and suddenly something wonderful occurred.  And everyone who was there had that lodged in their brain, and worse yet HAS THAT EXPECTATION.
    But it can't happen.  I won't happen.  No matter what, you can't have those same ingredients with the same conditions, no matter what you expect.  So now I feel the pressure to recreate that which cannot be recreated so that the attendees get what they expect.  And with that pressure, the H which we have already discussed is O, gets turned up a notch and the recipe can't possibly cook right.  So it will be forced.  And while it will be fine - and I am sure it will be - but it won't be the same.  And I will know it.  And the veterans of the first fire will know it.  And the people who came after hearing about it won't know but they will be feeling a little let down.
    Then the magic will be gone.  Because when that whole scenario happens, and it will happen, it sucks all of the magic out of the person doing the cooking (which is me in this scenario, Company.  it's me), but it also manages to suck a little of the magic out of the original event just through association.  And that is sad.  Because a second cake that doesn't turn out right shouldn't be a reflection on the one that you tried that made you order. 


Hold on, I am going to go get a piece of cake.


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     Okay, so anyway, there is a way that you can avoid this sort of disappointing second date scenario.  The key to success is to take the second event in its own right - for whatever it is worth just as itself - as opposed to looking at it in terms of the first event.  Instead of Major League 2, you need to have The Bourne Ulitmatum.  So that you can tell the events are linked and have many of the same attributes but can still stand alone.  Wipe that first campfire from your memory and just find a place for the second somewhere else in the brain.  That is the way to do it.  The trick is making everyone buy into that.  The alcohol will help.  But you also have to be smooth about it, Company.  That is why, I am a media mogul - because I work the best when the heat is on.  And the H is O, my friends.  The H is O.

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