Monday, August 04, 2014

Vocabularious

     So there is this thing called Urban Dictionary.  Have you heard of this, Company?  It is a website that one can edit - Wikipedia style - where you can put all sorts of popular slang terms.  It's neat.  So, let's look at some of the recent words of the day and I am going to tell you what I think about them.  How does that sound to you?

Intern Lunch - A lunch that takes two or more hours.
What the hell is this about?  Back in the 80s, when everyone wore really skinny ties and apparently we weren't quite so uptight about everything, this was called a three martini lunch because executives took long lunches and they would drink like three martinis or something.  Because you could get all drunked up during the day apparently.  Anyway, now it is applied to interns, because one must be an intern who is so insignificant at a company that you wouldn't be missed for two hours in the middle of the day.   But bosses take these lunches too, so we can see who is doing the work in the average American company.  Also, what sort of shitty company has interns who have two free hours a day?  I could teach these companies a thing or two about how to treat an intern, especially an unpaid intern.

Hashtag Abuser - One who overuses the hashtag symbol, especially on non-Twitter or Instagram apps.
#hashtag #nofuckingshit #settlewiththehashtages #onmyfreakinggod #stopwiththehashtags #hashtagabuser

Banana Hammock - 
You know what this is.  And no one should wear one.  Not ever.  Except maybe Borat.  One should always have more of a grocery bag vibe going when concerning one's hammock.  Even in Europe.

Clink Sink Drink - While drinking an alcoholic shot, the act of clinking your glass with a partner, sinking the glass to the table, and then raising and drinking the shot.
1.) Just because it rhymes doesn't mean that it needs to be said.
2.) Yeah, there is nothing that every bartender wants to do more than wipe booze up off the table and/or bar.  Just take the shot fuck knuckle.

Sober Drunk - The feeling of being drunk with the rest of your friends while you are actually completely sober.
Why fucking bother?  That was my first thought.  But then I started thinking about this concept, and I realize that it is really pretty amazing.  So you are telling me that you can go out and essentially get shitfaced - or at least get the feeling of being shitfaced - without paying all the money and taking all the risk of being drunk in public.  AND you get to drive around when you are done?  That is the absolute best.

Bropinion - Your bro's opinion.
Enough said, but to be honest, one doesn't have to put the word bro into every situation in which it fits and in which your good male friend is involved.  I like it though.  I feel, though, like I should be wearing a hat with a really straight brim including sticker when saying it.  Very Jersey Shore in a way.

Steppin on My Dick - When someone disrespects your manhood.
I feel like this is a term that is unnecessary.  I wouldn't think that someone would step on one's dick to disrespect someone's manhood.  Can you even think about the logistics that would be involved with stepping on someone's dick?  Like, actually, physically stepping on someone's dick?  Like, how does one even go about that?  Do you just ask them nicely?  "Excuse me, can you just lie down on the ground for a minute so that I can step on your dick?"  I am not sure that would work.  You could always just like kick the guy in the back of the knees to get him down but then why not just kick the shit out of him.  Wouldn't that work just as well?  I mean, to step on his dick you would still have to sort of position him correctly.  And if you weren't wearing shoes, like if you were at the beach or something, then would you have to go obtain some form of footwear?  Can you step on a man's dick barefoot?  There are a lot of practical and ethical conflicts that would have to be sorted out.  I am thinking this needs to be done over drinks.  Clink, sink, drink.

No comments: