Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Jeff Winger Speeches: Advanced Criminal Law

For those of you who don't know, I am a big fan of the television series "Community" which aired for five (5) seasons on NBC before being cancelled permanently.  Recently, it was picked up by Yahoo! Screen.  Since the mantra of the small but devoted fan base of the show has been that it should or will run for six seasons and that there will be a movie (#sixseasonsandamovie), this was a big deal.  In honor of this, I have decided to post the text of what I feel are the five most impressive Jeff Winger speeches from the show.  For those of you who are fans you will get it, for everyone else, you probably won't.  But I don't care, because this is my blog and I want to do it.  Also, I didn't have any other ideas for what to post and this sort of took care of that problem for me.  So anyway, we will start with Jeff Winger's first speech from Season 1, Episode 5, entitled "Advanced Criminal Law."

Jeff:     Gentlemen.  I am sure that you suspected that Miss Perry was pretty odd before the recess.  But if you could have heard all the stuff she just told me in the shower, you would realize that she is all the way out of her entire damn mind.  She doesn't want to succeed, because she doesn't think she can.  So she goes out of her way to fail.  That's crazy.  But, do we really want to make it a crime to be crazy at Greendale?  I mean look at us.  You two are arguing about status at a college that correspondence schools make fun of.  Dean, you want do bad for this place to be Ivy League that you are putting us at risk of electrocution.  Because everyone on this campus is nuts.

Leonard, from in the pool:     Not me!

Jeff:     Oh come on, Leonard.  If you're going to argue with me, put on a bathing suit.

Leonard:  Busted!  Hahaha!

Jeff:     If you want to rehabilitate your fellow inmate, you need to sentence her to staying here with us.  Because if crazy people can't be at Greendale, where are we supposed to go?

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