Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

    So it is Thanksgiving Day in the United States, folks, and since the Worldwide Headquarters is located in the United States, I do the United States Thanksgiving now as opposed to the Canadian version which was celebrated back in October.  Happy Belated Thanksgiving Canada.  And Happy Now Thanksgiving United States.  I am sure that everyone has things that they are thankful for, and so do I Dear Company.  And since I don't care a whole lot about what you are thankful for, let's talk about what I am thankful for:

-  I am thankful that the State put a four lane, divided highway between the  residence section of the Worldwide Headquarters and the office section, so when I was stuck with about fifteen other locals behind an ancient, out-of-town hunter who was driving very slowly through the fog on unfamiliar roads.  Because when we got to the four lane section it was like someone opened the bathroom drain and all the locals, like me, were able to get to work.

-  Speaking of hunters, I am thankful for all the wolves and coyotes that are around the Worldwide Headquarters, because they kept all those hunters from coming around because there are no deer in the area, and quite frankly, there are some people I know who are given a license to use a gun in public and that deeply disturbs me.

-  I am thankful for the work of Benjamin Henry Latrobe, who designed beautiful buildings that inspire the mind and soul

-  I am thankful that Mike-a-licious dropped all those OSHA complaints against me, because now I can afford to fix the fence and keep the Unpaid Interns from escaping all the time, in lieu of being OSHA compliant.

-  I am thankful for monkeys; an awful lot of people seem to like monkeys

-  I am thankful for all the people who work towards world peace, but I am dismayed because it seems like so many more are working towards world war.

-  I am thankful for that feeling that you get when you are sitting in the front of a roller coaster in the freezing rain, because even though it hurts like a bitch and you come out with your entire face covered in little red pinprick sized marks, it ultimately feels good and you can wear it like a badge of honor.

- I am thankful for you, Company, for without you I would not be a media mogul with an empire that spans all the time zones, even the ones that were skipped over for some reason or those weird ones that are on the half or quarter hour.

- I am seriously and completely thankful for all of those who serve in the military or public safety sectors, who work to hard to uphold law, order, ideals, and the American way of life, and who selflessly help others and always seem to get crap for it.

     I am thankful for a ton of other things too, but there is no time.  It is Thanksgiving Day, and it is time for some turkey.  Here is hoping that you and yours have a safe and enjoyable Thanksgiving everyone!  Even Canada, where it is just November 22.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Happy Veterans Day

     So here we are on Sunday, November 11, 2012 and it is Veteran's Day.  I am not going to write a big long post but I am going to say this: Thank you to every current or former member of our Armed Forces and to all of their families.  You willingly undertook one of the most thankless jobs in our nation for the benefit of all of the rest of us.  It doesn't matter if you sat at a deck for four years in the middle of a Nevada desert, you were still willing to serve.  So thank you.  May you all get all of your wishes today, and may each end every one of you who is overseas come home safely.  Thank you.
     Also, I want to issue a quick challenge to all of you out there who consider yourselves "lete haxors:" hack into the e-mail system and send a mass e-mail to everyone with a .mil e-mail address that says Thank You on behalf of America.  Put your energies and talents to good use for a change.