Friday, September 21, 2012

Get Drunk and Fire Away

This is coming Powder Springs.
    A lot of people have done a lot of stupid fucking things in life, Company.  A lot of groups have enacted stupid fucking plans or put stupid programs into place.  For instance: PETA's stupid plan to throw paint on peoples' fur coats.  That doesn't do anything proactive because it just causes the rich people who have furs (and probably have them insured) to go out and buy new furs.  And you know what that means.  Anyway, back to the lecture at hand...a couple in Georgia has proposed an idea that sounds just horrible, but maybe won't be as bad as you think.  They have proposed - and been given approval to build - an indoor gun range that includes a full bar and lounge.
     Truth be told, the only thing that really surprises me about this is that it isn't in Texas.  Unless of course these already litter the countryside there.  At first glance, this is a terrible, horrible, no good very bad idea.  Especially when one considers the housing development going on next door.  I am not sure that there has been a scientific study done on this subject, but any quick glance at the evening news or any American newspaper can easily confirm that guns and alcohol generally do not mix well.  No one has ever pulled their piece on someone in an argument over say, how short the grass should be cut, and popped a cap in the other person, and then at their sentencing said "If only I had been piss drunk then maybe cooler heads would have prevailed."  Again - maybe in Texas.  I mean, look at how mixing guns and alcohol worked for the people in the Old West.  You see it in every movie - a bunch of guys with ten gallon hats and weird handkerchief ascots sitting around a saloon drinking whiskey and suddenly there is an argument and before long someone is getting thrown through those swinging doors that I never understood because they don't really keep anyone out OR in or provide any sort of meaningful protection (by the way, being a swinging door maker in the Old West was probably one of the most lucrative trades there could be; every town had at least three bars and those doors were getting busted like every other night).  Anyway, once the guy went through the doors or the window where did everyone end up?  Drunk in the street firing guns at one another.
     And is exactly what all the folks in Powder Springs, Georgia (population 13,940 and located just west of Atlanta) were worried about.  Gunfights in the streets.  And those weird handkerchief ascots.  Those things are messed up.  So as would be expected, the area residents were none to happy with the idea.  They didn't seem to mind the $3.5 million indoor shooting range in their backyards, but they - like you and I - balked at the idea of a gun range that served alcohol.
     So why then, did 80% of the Powder Springs City Council vote to allow this seemingly ill-conceived project to proceed?  They did it because the owners of the proposed club have included one special safety feature: swipe cards.  All of the members of the club would have swipeable ID cards that would get them into the building, into the gun range, into the locker rooms, etc.  The plan for the club would be that members would have to use their swipe cards to order drinks, and once they have ordered a drink their swipe card would not allow them into the gun range for rest of the day.  That was enough to make the City Council pull the trigger - pun intended - on this project.
     And that sounds like a pretty good plan.  I would be okay with that in my neighborhood.  And I would suspect that 99.99% of people who are going to join the gun club are going to be smart and responsible enough to not drink a fifth of Wild Turkey and then go pop off a few rounds.  I really believe that.  The people who are going to irresponsibly get drink and indiscrimitaely shoot off weapons are going to do it out in the woods behind their house.  Here are what the .01% are going to do at the club:
     Billy Joe and Jimmy Bobb are going to join the club and get their swipe cards.  On Monday, Billy Joe is going to swipe his card to buy all the drinks.  Then Jimmy Bobb is going to swipe his card to get them into the range.  On Tuesday, Jimmy Bobb is going to swipe his card to buy all the drinks and Billy Joe will swipe them into the range.  Mark my words...someone will try that pretty quickly.  Now I am sure that the owners have figured that into their plan, and it will be pretty easy for the staff to keep tabs on who is doing what.  But mark my words...someone will try.  And if they succeed then shit will go down.  Let the blasting begin!

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