Monday, April 30, 2012

Darwin's Price

     Darwinism and evolution are at work all around us every day, Company, and we hardly ever notice.  Maybe one butterfly loses the chance to fetrilize some eggs because he can't stay airborn enough, so a specimen with better stamina gets to pass on its genes.  Maybe two moose are locked in battle over a female in heat, and one just slowly wears down the other until the battle is over, and the stronger one gets to pass on his genes.  Or maybe two 13-year-olds in Pennsylvania get hit by a car while suntanning in the road.
     But sometimes Darwinism doesn't work.  Sometimes the butterfly lands but lifts off and swoops in again before the one with more stamina can fertilize his eggs.  Sometimes the weaker moose is able to break the stronger one's antlers and get laid.  And sometimes humans have things like air lift ambulances and that allows us to cheat certain death.
    What led Beaver County, Pennsylvania teens Samantha Schermanhorn and Kaylie George to sunbathe in the middle of Donald Avenue I am sure that I will never know.  Maybe they thought that it was a short gravel road that was relatively untraveled.  Maybe there were a lot of trees in the neighborhood, although I can see a picture of the scene and there appear to be a lot of sunny, grassy areas nearby.  Maybe someone made a lot of fun of them for being really pale.  Or maybe they were just dumb.  But when they fell asleep - as sunbathers almost always ultimately do - you knew something bad was going to happen.
     That bad thing that happened was Schermanhorn's 19-year old cousin coming down the road in his car, as would be expected because generally that is what would happen on a road - a car would come down it.   He stopped at a stop sign, turned the corner and ran over the sleeping girls, who naturally couldn't hear the car because THEY WERE SLEEPING!  Two other cousins, who were brother and sister of the driver - saw the whole thing happen and called 911.
These girls are trying to be like Samantha and Kaylie,
but they just can't seem to get it right.
    Now evolution was trying very hard to kill these two young girls.  Fortunately, local paramedics, the crew of two STAT MedEvac helicopters, and the staff at the Childern's Hospital of Pittsburgh were working harder to make sure that they lived.  The girls were conscious when amblances arrived to take them to the helicopters, and they were able to tell paramedics what they were doing in the road.  We talk about this story a little tounge-in-cheek because they girls appear that they are going to be okay.  They were listed in fair condition at the hospital last night.  And the driver was under no sort of influenece, was not speeding, etc. and it was just a horrible, no-fault accident.
     Or was it? I pin the blame squarely on the girls who were dumb enough to sunbathe in the road.  Here is just a little piece of advice for you girls...DON'T LIE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!  You will probably get hit by a car eventually.  I watched a news report about the situation and they showed the helicopters landing in a park somewhere nearby.  There were lots of sunny, open, grassy areas.  Why not go sunbathe there?  There were grassy areas alongside of the road they were lying in, why not go sunbathe there?  Does your house have a roof?  Why not sunbathe there?  There are lots of alternatives, but they chose the road.  I just don't understand.
     So, we know now that a couple of things are going to happen as a result of this incident.  First of all, the parents of these girls are going to have some gigantic medical bills, even if they have insurance.  Second, the girls will hopefully never lie in the middle of the road again.  Third, they will be made fun of by a lot of people for a really long time.  And rightfully so.  Because when you do something that utterly stupid, if you don't pay Darwin's price, you have to pay some price.  And I think the social one is appropriate.

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