So, today is April Fool's Day, and in the spirit of such, we here at Big Dave and Company , in conjunction with Officer Butt Hansen, would like to bring you five April Fool's Day pranks that will cause him to hunt you down, kick your ass, then sleep with your girlfriend.
1.) Going down to the nearest major highway intersection and just discretely changing all the arrows to point the opposite direction. This is especially nefarious because the locals just know where they are going but it will really, REALLY confuse the out-of-towners.
2.) Cutting a big slice in the side of the vacuum bag. This will get dust everywhere. True, in the end it will probably not hurt anything, and it will be hilarious to watch the vacuumer try to keep sucking but the dust, but there will be dirt everywhere. And Officer Butt Hansen really hates dust and dirt.
3.) Buying an old, used up ATM machine, then setting it up out in front of your apartment building. Programming it to always pay out $50 whenever someone puts in their bank card. Advertising that there is no fee. Then filling it with nothing but Monopoly money or replica Confederate bank notes.
4.) Replacing all of the eggs in your refrigerator with hard boiled eggs. It will be hilarious when your significant other goes to make scrambled eggs for Sunday brunch. By the way, Officer Butt Hansen is coming over for Sunday brunch. And he required scrambled eggs.
5.) Dumpster diving to find a whole bunch of empty clear alcohol bottles, then filling them with water. Taking them to a junior high school dance, telling a bunch of the kids that you have spiked the punch, then watching them go about their business thinking they've been drinking vodka. Hilarious! Except that Officer Butt Hansen has a night gig chaperoning school dances. Might want to go over to the next town over for this one.
Happy April Fool's Day Everyone!