Thursday, December 22, 2011

Christmas Lite

     So, Company, I got a phone call from one Officer Butt Hansen the other day, and he acutely informed me that he hadn't heard from any of us here at the Worldwide Headquarters for some time.  A quick check of the facts showed us all that he was - as always - totally correct.  It has been exactly two weeks since we have taken the time out of our busy schedules to sit down and write a little bit of something to you.  And that is just wrong. (This sounds a lot like us apologizing to you two weeks ago, doesn't it?)  Anyway, we were out of commission because of some renovations in the WWHQ, but now we are back, and getting ready for the Christmas season.
       And I am a little worried about the Christmas season, Company.  I really am.  This is going to sound really confused and sort of warped because I have spent so much time railing against Christmas and its commercialization, but this year it seems that people have taken a step back from the overwhelming nature of Christmas, and it is sort of creeping me out.
     I know, I know, I know.  "That's messed up" you are saying, because I am always bitching about Christmas.  But this is one of those situations where I am sort of glad something is missing but it unnerves me.  For instance: Let's just say that since you bought your home your neighbor has had a 1984 Chevrolet Camaro Berlinetta sitting up on blocks half covered with a sheet on the side of his house.  And over time he has been piling shit on top of it, and you hate it.  It is ugly, it is an eyesore, and you seriously doubt that he is ever going to get it running again because he is too busy drinking Coors Light and watching the NFL Network while eating Buffalo Wings.  So it goes.  Then, one day you came back from a long weekend in the Poconos and it is gone.  You are glad to have it out of your life, but it is a little disconcerting because over the years it sort of became a part of the landscape.  So it's gone and you are happy but it's just a little strange.  Well that is how I am feeling today because there are some usual parts of Christmas that are just sort of missing.
     First of all is the music.  I flipped on the friendly local radio station today that normally is in full Christmas music mode by this time of the year, and they were playing...not Christmas music.  unless you consider "San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in your Hair)" Christmas music, which I guess I really don't.  Then I sort of thought about it and I realized that while I was shopping the other day I didn't hear a whole lot in the way of Christmas music either.  I was wandering around Kohl's and they were playing their usual strange pup music.  Nothing Christmas-y at all, and to be honest there wasn't a lot of Christmas stuff represented in the store at all beyond the tons and tons of employees working checkouts and the wrapping paper display in the middle of an isle.
Unfortunately this type of display seems to be rare this
year - thank God.
     The other thing that seems to me to be missing are Christmas lights.  Yeah, Christmas lights.  Our town put up its usual Christmas lights display back around Halloween time, and some of the other smaller towns have their decorations up on the light and flag poles.  But there seems to be a real dearth of Christmas lights on normal, everyday homes.  I understand that every year there are a fair number of homes that have no decoration or anything, and there are still many homes with trees lit up in their windows, but I am sort of used to seeing a few homes with an obnoxoius amount of Christmas lights up and then a lot of homes with small but tasteful displays.  Maybe just a string or two run along the eaves.  Those types of displays are conspicuously absent from the scene this year and I am not sure why.  Especially since we had a rather mild November in this part of the world.
      So what is the deal with all of that?  I know it sounds like I am but I am really not complaining.  Christmas hasn't been oppressive this year like it often is, and it is sort of refreshing.  But it is noticable in its lack of ridiculousness.  I don't know if the state of affairs have people out of the Christmas spirit, or maybe if it just became too much to bear.  I just don't know.  But it is almost like Christmas lite out there, and I kind of like it.  And I hope that you do too.

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