All Pen-t Out of Shape

     I have no idea why this is, Company, but I think I might have a pen fetish.
     I came to realize this as I sat at my desk today mindlessly clicking a pen for absolutely no reason, and I got to thinking about the pen that I was clicking.  It wasn't clicking as it should be, it was sort of sticking and had I knew that it wasn't writing well - that it was running out of ink.  It was a classic Bic click pen, the style that millions and millions of businesses have had their names imprinted on, and this one was no exception.  It had a pretty hideous color scheme: maroon click top and tip with a forest green shaft.  It used to have, in gold, the logo and name and phone number for a friendly local Native American casino.  Since I also have a sort of oral fixation, it is covered with teeth marks from where I have chewed it (it is sticking out of my mouth as I type this, to be truthful) and the logo has long since been flaked off.  It is my pen of choice, and it has been with me for a long, long time.  I am trying to keep it and use it until it is out of ink.

These are the kind of pens that I prefer to write with.  I want to
get my hands on each of these.

     I like to do that - use a pen until it is out of ink before it is discarded, for a couple of reasons I think.  First off because it reaches something deep down inside of me about not being wasteful, something that wants to use every bit of something before throwing it away forever.  That is the part of me that makes me keep wood scraps and the like.  The other reason is because it is so relatively rare that I am able to hang on to a pen long enough for it to be used up.  Usually I lose it or someone walks away with it and before long it is just gone forever.  Sort of like Chap Stick.  I can't ever finish one of those things off because I always lose it or 9 times out of 10 it goes through the dryer and then is useless to all humanity.  But I digress.
     Anyway, I was thinking about this particular pen that I had been using for a long time, and how it started at work then was with my checkbook for a while and then went back to my desk at work, and I was thinking about all the things I had written with it.  That got me to thinking about the pen I used to sign the papers for my house, and how I had specifically picked out that pen to use to sign and maybe I should memorialize it somehow like people do with pens that are used to sign important treaties and legislation and how the governor will sign something with multiple pens and give some of them away to important dignitaries and on and on and on and that is when I realized I had a problem.

I even make my office use these, since
I order supplies and this is all I will order.

     Actually, I realized I had a problem when I picked out a special pen to use to sign.  See if this sounds familiar: It was a classic Bic click pen, the style that millions and millions of businesses have had their names imprinted on, and this one was no exception.  It had a pretty hideous color scheme: kind of a dark sea green click top and tip with a purple shaft.  It had, in white, the logo and name and phone number for a friendly local Native American casino.  It was actually a pen from the casino at which I had used to work, and it was part of an ever-diminishing stash.  These pens had been ordered and provided by the casino a long time ago, and since then all the pens that they had ordered had been either hideously ugly or utter pieces of shit that broke whenever you tried to write with them.  So the old Bic-style pens were in high demand, especially among those of us who wrote a ton while on the job.  David Nathaniel and Tommy Tutone and I used to fight over them, and steal them from one another, and we all had our own stashes of them hidden away.  This was part of my stash, one of the last working ones remaining, and that series remains to this day my favorite, so I wanted to sign these important signatures with them.
     I admit it, I have a problem with pens.  Sort of a sick and probably slightly illegal thing with them.  And I probably always will, especially considering I have my next two pens down the line picked out and waiting to replace the one I am currently clicking away at as soon as it becomes totally inoperable.  That is just the way I am.