Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow

     I understand that if you were to walk in the door, the good folks down at Bob's House of Wigs will tell you that your hair won't last forever.  They will tell you that one day you will be enjoying a bowl of rocky road at your kitchen table and you wife will walk by, run her hands through your hair, and casually comment that you are balding, and that it will be all downhill from there.  It is their job to make sure that you know that you will need a wig at some point in the future, and they will be happy to take a down payment on a low-interest plan to pay for that hair piece ahead of time.  Because - they will remind you over and over - that hair isn't going to be there forever.
I just washed the floor and there it fucking is!
     Well I couldn't disagree more, because even if the hair on you head won't be there forever, the hair in your bathroom always will be.  That's right Company, we are talking about the hair in your bathroom, and you know it is there.  Behind the toilet, on the counter, all over the walls and floor.  I just cleaned the bathroom at the Worldwide Headquarters and I can tell you that it is a pain in the ass.  I have always had problems with the shit and I just can't figure out how to make it go away.
        I am serious, how do you get rid of it?  I ran the vacuum for quite a long time in the bathroom before I went to clean the floor, and there was still hair all over the damn place.  The room is small, so I usually do the floor with a rag, and with every swipe there was more hair on the white tile floor.  I had just vacuumed, and I couldn't see any when I was about to start.  So what's the deal with that?  I suppose it was coming off the rag that I was using, but where did that hair come from?  And why wouldn't it stick to the rag?  What is the solution for me?
      Maybe there isn't a solution for me.  Maybe everyone has this same problem that I am having and they just have figured out how to deal with it.  Maybe they aren't whiny little bitches like I seem to be.  Or maybe there is some cleaning secret that I just don't know about, and I want some answers.  Oh wait, scratch that.  I just want the hair to go away.  Isn't that the saying...hair today, gone tomorrow?

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