Sunday, September 25, 2011

Breaking Bad

     Is it a bad sign when things go well and you are a little worried that you might have messed something up?  Yeah, you're right, probably not.  But what about when you think that EVERY time something goes the way it should?  That can't be a good thing.
     I once asked Mike-a-licious if I could borrow a piece of equipment from him, and he let me borrow it.  Well, I broke it - as often happens when I use things - and when I told him it was broken and I was working to repair it he said "When you asked to borrow that, I wondered I should let you, because everything you use always breaks."  And that is pretty much true.  I have this sort of mixture of bad luck and a limited knowledge of the laws of physics and slightly more physical strength than I realize that tends to lead to things being broken.  It is not like I am trying to break things, they just sort of do when I use them.  Maybe I use all sorts of things in ways that they aren't supposed to be used, or maybe because I have this nasty tendency to have to do things that many people don't have to, I just don't know.  But it happens to me all the time.
     So yesterday, when I went to help my mom with some chores, they all went really smoothly.  Usually each of the chores we were looking to perform take a fairly large amount of messing around and undoing and redoing to get completed, and they are a large pain the ass.  But not this time.  First try on each chore, with very little messing around.  And that sort of scared me.  In this case, I wasn't scared that we hadn't done them right, but things were going so well I kept getting scared that the next thing was going to be awful.  Like, with each thing going well karma was going to smack me down double on the next chore.  That was my real fear.  But that never came down and happened.  So now I am running extra scared that the next thing I am going to touch is going to blow up in my face, kind of like someone who does something bad and doesn't get in trouble for it, then they are always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I am constantly wondering when my other shoe is going to drop.
    So I guess that is what my life has been reduced to...waiting for bad things to happen.  Uncool.  No wait, seriously uncool.  That is no way to live through your life.  But that is just the way it is.  And it is broken.  Or at least it will be once I get my hands on it.

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