Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Kate + 8: The Open Timeslot

Apparently Kate + 8 has been cancelled by TLC (The Learning Channel, as if Kate and her brood had anything to do with learning anything), and I guess that my response to that is that I am shocked that it is even still on.
     I mean, let's face it, that show sucked smelly ballsack from the moment that it went on the air, and if it weren't for the eight relatively cute kids and the clearly overmatched parents whose complete contempt for one another was routinely being brought out by having to raise so many children at one time, there would never have been a reason to watch the show. And once dysfunction junction split up and Kate became a pseudo-celebrity for like twelve minutes, I am sure it got really stupid. There is nothing like watching someone raise their kids only because they are contractually obligated to do so.
     “Won’t someone please think of the children!” That is what Helen Lovejoy is always screaming on The Simpsons, and I think it applies to this situation very well. Has anyone considered what this whole escapade – or carnival midway show – or whatever you want to call it – is doing to those poor kids? Let’s tally up the traumatic, life-screwing up events that those kids have had to go through. 1.) Divorce. 2.) Growing up on television 3.) Being left with a nanny for long periods of time while Mom is out screwing around in L.A. Yeah, each one of those things will land a person on a therapist’s couch by their own right, or at least on Celebrity Rehab talking to Dr. Drew and his cohorts. All three of them together will land a guy more likely on Cops or MSNBC as they take out pedestrians with a rifle from on top of a water tower or something.
     So I would suspect that the children were always lost in the shuffle in this whole Kate + 8 business, and that turning the camera off and having some quiet time alone with Mom without a producer or director giving out orders will probably be a good thing for them. I mean, it certainly can’t hurt. And it can’t hurt us either, to be rid of a terrible show that was neat for like six seconds before it just got sad and stupid and annoying. Plus, it creates an open time slot on the network for whatever non-learning television show they choose to put on there next. And I am sure it will be just as bad.

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