Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Blog on Fire

     Company, please keep in mind two things as you get ready to read today's post:
1.) I have been without Internet at the Worldwide Headquarters for a little while lately so I am a little behind on my snooping, stalking, and general keeping tabs on things
2.) I have been pining since the inception of Big Dave and Company for any sort of indication that I am good enough, smart enough, or that gosh darn it people like me; which is why I am constantly complaining that I am never a Blog of Note or that I can never win my own award.
     That being said I have finally won an award, our first ever.  Yeah, take that blogosphere.  I can now stop saying that I write an "almost award-winning blog" and start telling people that I am the grand master media mogul of "an award-winning blog."  Feels good.  It feels real good.  In fact, I might get that printed up on some business cards. "Big Dave and Company: An Award-Winning Blog.  Boo-yah!"  You have to put the "Boo-yah!" in there so people know exactly where you are coming from.
       Anyway, I suppose that it would be only appropriate to tell you what award I won.  It is called the Blog on Fire Award and I don't know if it is signified by the graphic depicted below, but the people who passed it on to me did so and I am going to follow suit.
Douse me with fire-retardent foam!
Yeah, how cool is that?  This award was passed on to me much like a chain letter from Barsola over at Life: An Observation and like everything in my life it comes with some strings attached should I choose to accept it, which I do because, as we discussed before, I crave approval in ways that cannot be measured by modern measuring techniques.  The conditions are that I have to a.) thank the blogger who passed this on to me; b.) reveal five things about yourself, and they should be somewhat hot because of the fire thing; and c.) pass the award on to seven other bloggers.  Okay, I can handle this, except that everyone is doing this in some sort of list form, so I am going to break to mold and do it with a series of almost-gramatically correct paragraphs.
     I would like to give all my thanks and a little more to Barsola, who writes a very well-written, always interesting, and super intelligent blog called Life: An Observation.  I have known Barsola since high school, I have to admit that she is pretty freaking cool.  I am going to admit that sometimes I just don't care about what she is writing about, but it is always done very well and in a very entertaining way. And she has a way that always makes me want to comment, which says a lot.  I guess that all those things and many more are why she was en fuego long before she ever got to 100 posts, while it took me well over 1,000, but I am not bitter.  Okay, I am a little bitter, but not at her.  She really does a wonderful job and deserves whatever awards come her way.  Keep up the great work, Barsola, you are the best!
     You want to know five things about myself, and they are supposed to be a little saucy.  Luckily for me as a media mogul whose empire stretches across four different types of media (if you count e-mail and yelling things on the street corner types of media - which I do) just ebout everything I do is saucy in some way, especially for those TMZ paparazzi types.  So get ready for five admissions.  First of all, I am a road sign geek.  Yep, that is my vice, and I know that it makes me a super dorky nerd but it is true.  My dream job as always been and will probably always be to be the guy who decides what road signs go where and what they say.  Go ahead, beat me up and tape me to a wrestling mat, it's okay.  I know I am going to get beat up by the cool kids.  I look at pictures of road signs on the Internet, I weigh in on important road sign issues in online forums, and I even take pictures of friendly local road signs so that other nerdy people like myself can look at what I see.  Yep, pretty lame, I know.
     Secondly, I am a little OCD like a lot of people.  I actually watched something on the news the other day about some teenage girls who really and truly have Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder in a way that adversely affects their lives, and the one girl said she hates it when people say they are a little OCD because they have no idea what it is like.  Well, I would like to say that I know a little more than the average Tom, Dick, or Harry.  I used to work in a job that involved moving rolls of coin from one bin to another, and I would always put them in the exact same spots in the new bin as they had been in the old.  I have gone back into my locked house multiple times even after I had pulled out of the driveway in the car because I had to make sure that the stove was turned off.  And you don't want to have to see me fill out paperwork because I will do it over and over again until there are no mistakes.
     Third, I have a strange fetish for cars that sucked balls.  I love the blog called Car Lust and I will be passing them this award in a little bit.  I love the shitty cars from the 70s, 80s, and 90s and would buy a 1987 Ford Tempo with a 5-speed if there was one available somewhere that hadn't been put into a crusher.  1992 Dodge Spirit?  I'd buy that too if I had the cash.  Same with a 15-passenger van.  I've got a thing for those too and I don't know why, and no it doesn't make me a creeper because they have windows and I don't hang around the elementary school.
     My fourth admission is that I put shockingly little effort into the Big Dave and Company Podcast, which is available here or at iTunes free of charge to anyone who wants to listen, hint, hint.  It is also available at left. My Technical and Executive Producer Mike-a-licious by far has the most work between the two of us.  All I have to do is show up, talk, and then post some stuff about the episode online.  He has to listen to it a bunch of times and make me sound good, in addition to being on the air.  If anyone gets an award for the thing it should be him, but being the media mogul prick that I am I will definitely step in and take all the credit somehow.
      Lastly, I hate socks.  HATE THEM!  And I am not crazy about shoes, either.  I do my best to wear sandals from the time the snowmelt puddles are gone until it starts snowing again.  I even sneak them onto my feet when I am work.  I would prefer to go barefoot everywhere like in the days of yore, but that is not socially acceptable and plus the soles of my feet aren't really tough enough for that business.  So I put on my Jesus Cruisers as some of my friends like to call them and off I go. Until I am forced by law or nature to put on shoes and socks.
   So now comes the part where I have to pass this on to 1-2-3-4-5-6-7...HOLY SHIT SEVEN different blogs.  I am not sure that I even know that many that still bother to write.  And I suppose I can't give one back to the person who gave it to me.  Okay, so here goes then, seven shockingly short paragraphs, which are really more like declarative statements.  So I guess they are sentences.  Okay, scratch that.  One paragraph made up of seven declarative sentences with no trasition between them.  That sounds more like it.
     Old Parked Cars is a blog in which some guys in the Pacific Northwest go around taking very artsy photographs of parked cars that predate 1990 or so.  We already talked about Car LustThat is Priceless takes all sorts of paintings and gives them hilarious new titles.  Bloggerated is from friend of everything Brad in Nashville, and talks about his life in Nashville.  Grilled Cheese Social features a new grilled cheese sandwich recipe with every post.  We must not forget Enter the Man Cave, which features lots of movie and sports and music related stuff.  Big Storm Picture is a blog that features amazing nature photography of a man who travels around the midwest chasing tornadoes. 
     So those are my seven that I am going to forward this award on to.  I seriously doubt that most of them will pass this along, but I just don't care.  There are a couple that will though I think.  But anyway those are my seven, and now my obligation to the Blog on Fire award is over, and I can officially begin basking in the award-winningness that is me.  Let the basking begin...now!

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