Sunday, May 01, 2011

May Day

     Well Company, it is May Day, and I just don't know how I feel about that.
     See, I don't really care about May Day.  Not at all.  I am not even sure what May Day is all about, and when one of the Unpaid Interns asked for the day off I slapped the shit out of them...excuse me, firmly but politely told them that was not in our company policy handbook.  Yeah, that's what I did.  Anyway, like I was saying I don't know anything about May Day other than it comes on the first of May and is the day on which I am most likely to write a "4" instead of a "5" where it says "Date" on my paper, so I just couldn't care less about it.
This could be a May Pole for all I know.
     That's not true.  I know a few things about May Day.  I just told you what day it is on: May 1st.  I know that somewhere people will be dancing around a May Pole, although I don't know what a May Pole is or how one properly dances around it.  I think ribbons are involved somehow though.  I know that May Day is when the Soviet Union has gigantic parades in Red Square with millions of billions of sharp-looking soldiers marching in step, big pictures of Lenin and Stalin on sticks, and lots of weapons that we thought were real but were apparently often made of wood and other non-scary materials.  Except that there is no Soviet Union so I don't know who is carrying around those Supreme Commissariat pictures these days.
      I could go out and find out some information about May Day and present it to you, as I have done in years past, but I care so little that I am not even going to go out and do that.  Nope.  If you want to know you had better go out and ask someone, or click around the Internet yourself.  I am just not going to do it.  Nope.  I just don't care one little bit.  So there.  Not that I wouldn't celebrate May Day if given the occasion, like perhaps if I were in the home of someone who was celebrating the holiday, I am just not going to put myself out in any way, shape, or form, in order to celebrate a holiday whose main thing is a pole and marching.
     So happy May Day to those of you out there who care, I hope you have a wonderful time doing whatever it is that you do on this most joyous or whatever of holidays.  May you have joy and a lack of indifference.  I just don't know what else to say.

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