Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Epic Fail

     I have done some stupid things in my life, Company.  Some truly dumb things that I am not proud of, and that I tried hard for no one to find out about.  But I am not sure that I have ever done anything as stupid and embarrassing than what I did today.
I could have screwed this up somehow I am sure...
     I was installing a window air conditioner in the Worldwide Headquarters today because, well, it was time to install the window air conditioner in the Worldwide Headquarters.  Anyway, it sounds easy enough and straightforward enough but you should remember that I am Big Dave, and nothing ever ends up being easy or straightforward for me.  In this case, the problem comes from the fact that we have a normal-style air conditioner that is made for a traditional up-and-down style window, but I was trying to install it in a window that slid open left-to-right, or in this case right-to-left.  Last year we had it in sideways so it sort of fit better, but that looked just plain dumb.  It was effective, and it cooled my whole private quarters, but this year I wanted things to be done right.  So I put it in the right way and let the fun begin.
     Anyway, the dumbest part came once I had the AC installed and reasonable well bolted and screwed down, and I was looking to fill the area above it where the window couldn't close, because, you know, it is a right-to-left sliding window.  So I went down to the friendly local hardware store and I had this idea in my head, and I asked someone working in the place where I could find those little screens that slide to a bunch of different sizes.  I found one, and of course they didn't make one that would fit the dimensions that I would need, so I bought the closest thing and started to make my way home.
     Halfway home I had a sort of epiphany.  If you had been riding in the car with me, or maybe watching on television, you would have heard a little bell "ding!" and seen a light bulb appear above my head.  It is always a traditional incandescent bulb, but in my case maybe a flourescent bulb would be more appropriate because it sort of flickered on over the course of several seconds.  "Why did I just buy a screen?  Why the hell would I put a screen in if I was running the air?"  That was the exact sentence I spoke to myself.  Why would you buy a screen to close off the window of a room in which I was going to be running THE AIR CONDITIONER.  That is just fucking retarded, but for some reason that was my big plan.
      In the end I whipped a shitty and went back to the friendly local hardware store and fessed up to what I had done.  The guy laughed at me and traded it for a precisely cut piece of plexiglass (which I cracked later on) which once installed looked perfect.  I was really happy with it, and it was probably what I had wanted all along.  Not a screen though.  That was just dumb.

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