Monday, April 25, 2011
X Marks the Spot
That doesn't happen. I am telling you that right now. First of all, I would suspect that most pirates only bury their accumulated treasure - which by the way he probably stole - in very extreme circumstances. First of all, anyone can get to it if it is buried, especially if there is a stupid map marking the spot. But it is basically unguarded. Secondly, ground disturbance usually leaves a lot of evidence for a long, long time. So any Tom, Dick, Harry, or competing pirate walking by is going to see that someone dug a bigass hole there. Third, a hole big enough to fit your treasure (which is always in a wooden chest by the way) is going to take a long time to dig, and if you are desperate enough to have to bury your treasure, you probably aren't going to have the time to dig a deepass hole and cover it properly. If you had like two hours to get your shit straight you could probably find a better place to hide your treasure somewhere other than underground in a hole.
So there. And there is one more thing too: Even if a pirate buried his treasure he wouldn't make a map of it with a bigass "x" on it. He would put it near a landmark that would be easy for him to remember. He would bury it like 40 paces in front of the split palm near the waterfall so he could remember the next time he rolled back to the island. He most likely wouldn't have made a map that was easily stolen and deciphered. Maybe he would make one that was wrong, to lure people away from his shit. That's a possibility, or I should say much more probable, but I don't believe that he would make up a map. Seems too insecure.
So take your little treasure map and stuff it right where the "x" don't shine, because I think it's bullshit. It is time to get realistic and learn that you aren't going to find any pirate treasure by following around generic maps. If there is any pirate treasure buried nearby you are going to find it by digging around your yard like this guy. So get our and get gardening. And put that silly map down.