Monday, April 11, 2011

K is for Kiss

is for kiss, which is what people do when they are in love, or when they are all horned up.   Possibly in love and definitely horned up teenagers is what led us to some time ago talk about how the truly awful Twilight series is ruining America by making our youth do, well, stupid fucking things.  In that case, two teenagers engaged in "fantasty biting" resulted in marks on the girl's neck, and to cover her ass she lied to her parents and said she was attacked while jogging through a Florida park.  That was a dumbass thing to so.  Well, today we have People's Exhibit Two as to why Twilight is terrible and ruining society.
     Recently, a Sheboygan, Wisconsin man was sentenced to 30 days in jail for felony child abuse which occurred while he was babysitting a 3-year old boy.  There is what went down:

You are fucking everything up.
      Mark R. Adams, Jr. was babysitting the 3-year-old boy and watching a vampire-themed show.  Now, I haven't been able to verify what vampire-themed show he was watching, but I can tell you that no one would be watching those fucking annoying shows and they wouldn't be making or airing those fucking annoying shows if it wasn't for those stupid Twilight books.  Anyway, somewhere along the way he decided, in his little retarded fucking mind, that it would be a good idea to BITE THE BOY'S NECK THREE TIMES - oh and he admits that he might have said something about wanting to suck his blood.
      I am not sure where young Mr. Adams would have gotten the idea in his head that it was okay to bite a 3-year-old child in the neck three times, but I would be willing to bet all of Little Jeffy's paycheck that it plugs into the wall and is now available in a flat screen.  Because you didn't see any sort of news like this back when The Addams Family was on TV.  Maybe it is because we are consistently failing as parents these days.  Or maybe it is because we have the Internet now and news spreads faster, but I am going to tell you this: the article I read about this went out via the Associated Press, and that has been around since long before the World Wide Web.
     So anyway, the bite marks were clearly visible when the mother came home, and of course she confronted the kid, which leads to my favorite part of this story.  When confronted with the evidence Adams said "I'm not a pedophile" and punched the woman in the face.  Bold strategy, Cotton, let's see how that works out for you.  This makes me laugh hilariously not because a poor woman got punched in the face, but because this guy was fucking retarded enough to think that screaming "I'm not a pedophile" and punching an innocent woman in the face was a good idea on how to proceed.  I am actually a little upset that this fucktard is only going to get 30 days in jail, because I don't want someone that dumb hanging around in society.  He should really be put in deported quarantine on some sort of island in the South Seas where he can't really hurt anyone other than himself.
     But 30 days is what he got, so at least he got something.  He should probably get all sorts of probation and not be allowed around children, and maybe he should never be allowed to purchase a van without windows.  Either way he is definitely stupid and needs to learn a lesson about what is right and wrong, and maybe about responsibility.  Two lessons that I am sure Twilight will never teach anyone.

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