"Australia and US affirm warm ties"
Now I didn't read the article, and I have never had a reason to question my home nation's relationship with the Commonwealth of Australia, but I read that headline and I immediately thought to myself "That's not good."
I don't know a whole lot most of the time, but in my few years on this Earth I have been able to learn a few things, one of which is that the person who takes the biggest pains to tell you something is often the one person who lacks in whatever way they are boasting about. For example, the guy always talking about the large size of his penis is usually the one with the small penis. You never hear those porn guys talking about the size of their member, do you? I mean, every time you see one of those odd celebrity couples on Oprah or Larry King or some other goofy television show boasting about how in love they are and how great things are going don't you automatically throw the bullshit flag? I do. You don't go on television to talk about your love when you are in love, you just go about being in love. You don't jump around on a couch talking about how much you love your life unless you are seriously worried about if you love your wife.
|Australia is so much more than this, US. Can't you see?|
|I don't believe this man is in love.|
Australia and the United States will be just fine. We always are. We have never turned on each other in a way that time and diplomacy couldn't repair. We will be back to quietly being friends again soon, where everyone just sort of knows that we roll in the same posse. I mean, we won't be tight and click-y like all those European Union countries but we never were. We always just sort of existed in our own special realm, in a way that worked for us. And we will get back to that. You will know once we stop talking about it.