I have to begin by apologizing to all of you, Company, because we have been having a lot of technical difficulties here in at the Worldwide Headquarters. I would like to report, however, that with a lot of technical assistance from our Technical Producer Mike-a-licious and his big juicy brain, plus a lot of free Internet software and a ton of money skimmed off the top of the podcast accounts, we have taken care of the problems and are up an rolling. And so our second 1000 posts are off to a rousing start.
Oh well. This is how it goes sometimes, and you can't predict the future. I mean, we aren't weathermen. I want to be able to tell you about all of the big plans that we have for our next 1000 posts, but I just don't know. Every time I manage to come up with some grand laid plans they always go awry and crumble to the ground. Like a sand castle at the beach except there is no water so it is more like the desert. Wait, what? Anyway, the point I am getting to is that I can't tell you what is going to happen here over the next three and a half years or so because I just don't know. But I am happy to make some wild conjectures and guesses:
1.) We will have another alphabetic post event. This I can tell you for sure because I already have it planned and have actually started writing the posts. See, I am going away on vacation sometime in April, and the Unpaid Interns have refused to do any posting because it is not in their "contract" which is what they are calling the paper that I call the "disclaimer" and "liability waiver."
2.) I will bitch about something that I really shouldn't be bitching about. I mean, that is almost a given. Why wouldn't I do that? I do that all the time. And I will stick my foot in my mouth in the process. Maybe someone will call me out on it like the last time when I was ripping on that innocent little kid when I didn't even know him. Yeah, that was not smart on my part, that kid turned out to be pretty great.
3.) There are going to be a bunch of shitty posts. Yeah, that happens from time to time. But you have to sift through a lot of dirt to get a few diamonds.
4.) There are going to be some great posts. Those are the diamonds. The funny thing about it is that the ones I think are great usually aren't that well received, and the ones I think are pedestrian usually end up getting raves from you, Company. That's just how it goes. But they will be there. For as much as my mind is fried these days, it is still capable of putting out something readable.
Those are four bang-out guesses for what is going to happen over the next 1000 posts, should we make it that far. I think we might. I mean, I never thought we would make it to this point, why not make it another 1000, right? Wish us luck. I hope that you are willing to come along for the ride.