Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Let's Get Bloated

These girls are celebrating both Mardi Gras AND
International Women's Day.  At least that's my story and
I'm sticking to it.
     It is Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday - to day, Company, and while the parties are and have been in full swing in places like Rio and New Orleans and exotic Mobile, Alabama for some time, the place to be this season is the Worldwide Headquarters.
     Yes friends, I am announcing the first ever Big Dave and Company Mardi Gras Party.  I have received a large shipment of factory defect plastic children's swimming pools and we are going all out.  Since Mardi Gras is the day of the year to indulge in all of the things that you are supposed to give up for Lent there is going to be a buffet that stretches around the block, six different bars that will serve just about every type of alcohol that you can think of, several truckloads of soda (since lots of people give up caffeine) and a barista brewing up every type of coffee you can think of, including a couple that you haven't even heard of yet.
     Now, in future years there will be an ungodly amount of beads to be won by both man and woman alike by flashing whatever part they see fit - in the traditional manner.  But this year, since Mardi Gras falls on International Women's Day, there will be no beads for boobies, unless of course the boys are flashing.  So get that out of your mind but tune in next year for that part of the festivities.
     Now, you might be wondering what all the swimming pools are for.  Well that is a good questions.  After you eat and drink and (not this year) flash yourselves silly, and dance and be joyful while the DJ spins records AND the bands play, where are you going to want to flop down when you are struggling to breathe and your pants have fallen down?  Kiddie pool.  Oh yeah.  That's right.  Some will be dry and some will be filled with water, so if you want to remove your pants and take a soak that is fine.  If you just want to collapse in a pool (excuse the pun) of your own vomit, that is fine too, one of our many dry factory reject swimming pools will contain the mess.  While you are basking in your pool, our staff of  dedicated by force Unpaid Interns will throw confetti on you and make sure you do not drown.  Now that's a Mardi Gras to remember.
      I know that this sounds more like a Morningwood Estate promotion, but that place is far to stately for this type of celebration.  This will be held at the Worldwide Headquarters, where you can frolic and indulge and enjoy life without worry of judgement or hidden cameras on a live feed to a website where people will pay to see what kind of hedonism goes on.  Nope, none of that.  Just Mardi Gras in your own backyard, or in my own backyard to be more precise.  Enjoy, it's forty days before the fun starts again.

1 comment:

Barsola said...

I gotta say, I thought the comments about the kiddie pools was leading up to jello wrestling or something along those lines. I see now I was wrong. And, now I feel perverted. Great!