Sunday, February 20, 2011

You Are In America

     I wanted to include this as the first article in a serious about incredibly pretentious things, but I couldn't really think of four more so I guess that you are going to have to listen to me go on about this one particular issue: European license plates on American cars.
These things are stupid.  So there.
     Yep, I hate it, even more than I hate people who put their lake on their license plate.  I hate it more than those stupid little white ovals that people put on the back of their car, which are originally meant to show the country of origin that used to be really popular in Europe but now are getting popular in America for people to show places they like such as "OBX" for the outer banks or "VT" for Vermont which are usually found on Volvos or Volkwagens.
    Anyway I hate those fucking Euro plates, because they are not cool.  They are just pretentious because everyone, especially most Europeans, have this idea that Europe is better than the US in every conceivable way.  And maybe it is, I don't know.  But I can tell you that the folks in Folkestone aren't putting Montana plates on their Vauxhalls or West Virginia collector plates on their Princesses.
This is okay in Europe. In America? Simply pretentious.
    So why then, do we feel the need to put dumbass Euro plates, which by the way don't even fit properly on US cars anyway, on our cars?  Why did that pompous ass seem to need to put one on his new Beetle on a shitty street in a shitty town in the middle of the American wilderness?  Why did he feel the need to impress?  And who did he think he was impressing?  All he did was piss me off, and he didn't look cool.  I am not sure who was driving the car: if it was the guy in the red Adidas Run-DMC jumpsuit or the pepper-haired man in the tweed jacket with leather patches on his elbows, but I am glad I couldn't figure it out or I would have tried to kick his ass.  Bottom line is this: if you want to have a European car with European license plates so badly, move to Europe.  You seem to like it there so much better anyway. 

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