Monday, February 07, 2011

The Morning After

Well, it is the day after the Super Bowl, and I am sure that call-ins are at record levels all across the nation, but that is okay.  There are a lot of happy people in Wisconsin, and a lot of unhappy people in western Pennsylvania I am sure, but that is just the nature of the beast.  Anyway, congratulations to the Green Bay Packers on their championship, and congratulations too to the Pittsburgh Steelers, since losing in the Super Bowl isn't all that shabby.  All that being said, let's get to some thoughts and comments about Super Bowl XLV, which is Roman numerals for Super Bowl Go Look It Up Online You Lazy Fuck:

- The halftime show was awful.  Truly awful.  About the only two things that I can say about, nay - fourthings, are that Fergie is still smoking hot, Slash didn't fuck up his part, Usher can dance like it's going out of style, and at least we know that the Black Eyed Peas were actually singing and not lip syncing.  This is worst performance I have seen since I saw Blink-182 on Saturday Night Live and they were singing noticeably off-key for an entire song, and this Super Bowl halftime is worse I think because of all the money spent on it, time spent on it, and all those stupid fucking dancers that look like they spent too much time living near the nuclear power plant when they were kids.

The Fort McHenry ramparts in Baltimore of which
Christina forgot to sing.
 -  Speaking of awful: Christina Aguilera.  Awful all around: she looked awful.  She was dressed pretty awful.  She sang awful.  And she didn't even get the words right.  Here is the deal Artist Formerly Known as X-tina: when you sing the Super Bowl National Anthem, nobody gives a shit that you are doing it, okay?  It is an honor, yes, but in the end everyone including but not limited to the players and fans, just sort of want you to go out and do it and be done with it.  You have a great voice, I am not sure that we can dispute that (or at least I wouldn't) but you don't need to be fucking with the rhythm and cadence of a song that is hundreds of years old.  You want to do a killer Super Bowl National Anthem?  Just go out there and sing it like it is supposed to be sung then get the hell out of the way.  I bet you get put in the top ten.  As for the words thing, I will give her a pass; we all make mistakes.  Dial up the pressure and the moment and the fact that for whatever reason she wasn't singing the melody she was supposed to be, and I can see it happening.  Also, you wear WAY, WAY, WAY too much makeup to be appearing in closeups on HDTV.  Way too much.

-  I walked away from a lot of the Super Bowl Commercials saying "They spent $3,000,000 on that?"  Because Super Bowl commercials were going at $3 million per minute, and then you ad on top of that how much it cost to get Eminem to cruise around Detroit in a Chrysler 200, or how much CGI it cost to make a bunch of people want a Hyundai Elantra, and you are talking big bucks.  Winners: The Chevrolet Lassie spinoff, The Eminem commercial, and the NFL one with all the TV personalities with NFL merchandise on.  Dig it.  I don't watch for the commercials anyway, I watch for the game.  And can somebody please, please, please bring back the Bud Bowl?

For $612, Jerry Jones and the NFL will
let you sit here, and you will still
count in the attendence total.
 -  The football wasn't all that great.  There I said it, if you aren't interested in sports then you can skip this one, but the football wasn't all that great.  I thought a lot of the game was boring.  I thought both sides were mistake-prone.  I thought there were a lot of potentially amazing plays that weren't made.  I mean, there were definite highlight moments, and there were a lot of exciting times, but I just sort of thought it was sloppy all around.  Then again, how many Super Bowls have I played in, right?

-  The star power was out.  How do you think it went down: Did George W bring Condoleeza Rice to Jerry Jones' booth, or was it the other way around.  And why the hell was A-Rod there?  He should have had to buy a ticket, God knows he can afford it.  And where was Bush, Sr?  George Herbert Walker Bush, the likeable Bush?  Where was he?  Yeah, the stars were out, but it just made me angry.  Oh, and Fox?  Using a girl from Glee, which conveniently was on right after the game, to sing America the Beautiful?  That was shameless.  Jerry Jones shameless.  At least she got the words right, so that was nice.

 -  Speaking of shameless: Jerry Jones.  He was never anything but transparent about setting a record for Super Bowl attendance, which meant even more money, which made me hate the guy even more.  First of all, let me just say that I am glad that he got burned on that whole missing seats thing: there was no reason to bring in 1500 extra seats or whatever just to set the attendance mark, and there was doubly no reason to create that bogus outside patio where people could watch the game and still get counted towards the total, so I was glad that he had to refund all those people money and that he and the NFL got a ton of egg on their faces.  Shows just what greedy, chauvinistic bastards they can be and have become.  I have to give huge props to the fire inspectors in the City of Arlington or Tarrant County or from whatever jurisdiction they are from for sticking to their guns; it would have been really easy for them sign off on those seats what with the amazing amount of pressure they must have felt from Jones, the Cowboys, and the NFL.  Good job guys.  Glad to see someone didn't get swept up in the hype.  Oh, and to the retarded moron who wasn't happy with his refund times three that he got for his essentially worthless ticket and asked "What about our hotel and travel expenses?"  That is why they are paying you three times the face value of your ticket.  To help defray those costs.  You still were there, and you were part of a great controversy that you can tell your kids about.  Settle down, it's just football.

So now football is over, and we have like a week or so until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training and we can get into the baseball spirit.  And March Madness is right around the corner.  And if you are into the NBA the playoffs start I think tomorrow and wrap up sometime in mid-June from what I hear.  You will have to call Canada to find out about hockey.  But it was a good Super Bowl, or at least a memorable one.  I almost can't wait for next year.

1 comment:

BradPerala said...

I agree with this wrap-up more than I disagree with it. The Pepsi Max commercials were a huge waste of money. X-tina was bad. The game was blah. and they didn't even break the attendance record. however, the coolest stat I heard was that there were 103,000 people at the game. the city of Green Bay has 101,000 people in it. HA!