Saturday, February 12, 2011

May I Borrow A Cup Of Sugar?

Nobody is asking for this.
     I don't know about you, Company, but I watch a lot of television and the occasional movie.  Now, we all know that there are certain things that are not realistic about what we get beamed into our living rooms on a daily basis.  You know, like when the A-Team blows the shit out of some bad guys' Jeep and it flips over but they are fine - no cuts, no bruises, no nothing - and the A-Team can roll around with some sort of hilarious quip and turn them over to the Army, which always seems to be coming right along on their heels.  That shit doesn't happen, okay?  If you flipped an open top Jeep as a result of an explosion you aren't going to be fine.  You are going to be fucked up something fierce.  Also, the Army doesn't just tool around America chasing convicts in green sedans, okay?  I don't know if you have ever seen the Army moving around the country, they tend to drive bigass trucks and move very slowly in convoy fashion.
     Anyway, to attempt to get back on track, one of the things that always seems to be happening in Hollywood's made up worlds is the neighbors are always asking for a cup of sugar, usually as a means of getting them into the situation when they really have no reason to be there.  I contend that this is non-realistic, because when was the last time you asked someone to borrow a cup of sugar?
      I know I never have.  And I know that I have never had anyone ask me for that. Seriously.  There have been times when I have wanted to ask someone for a cup of sugar, but I have never been able to bring myself to do it.  It just seems too cliché at this point in time, so there have been instances when I have actually gone out and purchased sugar in lieu of walking next door and asking for some.  The sugar then invariably goes to rot because I just don't use enough to make it worth my having any.
      But then again I don't bake.  And by in large anyone who would be wandering around asking for a cup of sugar would be someone who could bake, and would like to bake, and those types usually have plenty of sugar floating around in their kitchen.  And they aren't the type to bake without checking up on their supplies anyway.  And even if the unlikely event were to occur when they ran out, it would be worth their time to go get some more at the store, plus they are out of chocolate chips anyway.
     So where did this cup of sugar thing come from?  And why won't it go away.  I suppose that it is just ingrained in our psyche - pun definitely intended.  Or maybe that God-awful Def Leppard song "Pour Some Sugar On Me" has made it slightly dirty and now they leave it in because of that.  Who knows?  I don't.  What I do know is that there is not really an epidemic of sugar borrowing going on in the world today.  Sugar supplies are not currently in short supply.  There are not legions of zombie-like sugarless people wandering the streets of suburban anywhere.  So let's cut it out.  Let's figure out a better way to get neighbors to our doors.  That is the least that Hollywood can do for us, right?

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