Sunday, January 23, 2011

Like A Good Neighbor...

I typed the slogan and this appeared.
     "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there."  That is the slogan of State Farm Insurance, and it has been a staple of every television, radio, and print advertisement that they have done since as long as I can remember.  In the radio and television ads they sing it in the same fashion that they have always done.  It's sort of like a the houses on your block, it has always been there so it is almost part of the scenery.  That being said, the latest set of advertisements has featured attractive young people singing the slogan when trouble erupts in order to bring their State Farm agent around to help them out.  I have some problems with this.
     First of all, what the hell is this, Bewitched?  You can't just chant something and get somewhere, unless of course you go into a frat house and chant something from a rival frat, in which case you will get thrown out on the lawn in the best case circumstance.  Anyway, I can tell you for sure that you can't just chant a slogan and have people appear.  And it goes even farther than that, because you can make all sorts of stuff appear, which is hocus pocus as well.  It just doesn't work that way, no matter how good your insurance company is.  Let's take a look at some specifics:
     First is the one with the two guys sitting in the little car watching a herd of buffalo cross the road.  They are talking, appropriately, about how cool it is and they are wondering why they hadn't done this sooner.  As they sit there one of the buffalo lowers his head and rams the drivers side door of the car.  So, in lieu of starting the car and getting the hell out of there like any normal person would do, they decide to conjure up their insurance agent.  "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there."  That is a totally, completely normal thing to do.  So the agent pops into the backseat and they driver screams at him asking what to do.  So the agent tells them to sing it again but he adds "in my office" to the end of it and POOF! they are back at his office, albeit without the car, which I would assume is getting crushed by the angry buffalo.  I can't believe how dumb that is.  First of all, if you can pop people from place to place, why didn't you just pop yourself away?  Second, what about your car?  It is destroyed, and now your agent is still going to have to fill out all that paperwork, when he could have just brought the car with and solved the whole thing.  God knows you pay enough every month for your insurance.
      Commercial #2.  Three girls come back to the car, and it has been hit and run or something.  Just like a nasty dent or something, I don't exactly remember.  So the owner of the car sings the phrase "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there" and her agent appears and starts checking out the scene.  Greedy friend though, makes her sing it again and adds "with a hot guy" so some dude appears, which to me is bullshit because another State Farm agent should have appeared as well, right?  So anyway, the friends take turns singing it and adding what kind of guy they want and the guy keeps changing.  Lame.  Never do any State Farm agents appear, which is a crock of shit because one is supposed to appear every time you sing the little jingle.  And if it only pertains to your agent, then shouldn't your agent like go away every other time you sing it?  My other question is this: If you have the power to zap people in to help you out, why don't you just zap away your dent?  And if you agent can appear, why can't they zap out your dent?  Why do you have to give your car to a State Farm approved agent for like six weeks while they buff out your blemishes?
     There is another one that runs along the same lines, with three guys sitting around in the house asking for sandwiches, hot tubs, etc after the agent appears to help with some situation, and I just know there is going to be some dumbass out there somewhere who is not exactly going to take those literally, but who is going to take it close to literally, because they are going to call their agent when they are stranded on the side of the road and expect them to appear, and it's not gonna happen.  I just know it.  Good luck with that.  Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there, but not exactly like that.  Not like Bewitched.

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