For those of you who haven't seen the viral video on YouTube and about a hundred other places let me sort of tell you the story. Lady is a mall worker. She is 49 and I apologize I can't seem to find her name and I didn't catch it this morning. But she sort of looks like one of those people who doesn't have a sense of humour. And I can tell she doesn't, but we will get to that in a minute. Anyway, this lady works at the mall and she is strolling along through the mall texting on her phone - again, not a big deal. Happens all the time. Except that this lady was especially not paying attention and she walked right into a fountain. Oh yeah, she is just strolling along texting and she walks right into it. It clips her off right at the knees and she goes ass over teakettle SPLASH! right into the fountain.
But someone did see. A couple of people. Turns out that the mall security guards happened to be watching, and they were laughing their asses off. On the audio track you can hear them rewind the tape and watch it again, and watch it from a couple of different angles while narrating it. It is pretty fucking hilarious. Then, they did what any person with the capability would do...they put the video up on YouTube. That is where this whole thing began to unravel and get just fucking stupid.
The video goes viral on YouTube, as would be expected. All of America is laughing at this video, and by extension at this woman, and she deserves it because she is fucking TEXTING WHILE SHE IS WALKING AROUND and she is paying more attention to her STUPID FUCKING CELL PHONE than to THINGS THAT COULD HURT HER. I know that roughly anyone younger than I am will not see why this is a problem, but to most of the adult world that is the stupidest thing they have ever heard. If I was at the mall sucking down an Orange Julius and I saw that happen, I would first wait to see if that was okay and then I would laugh my ass off once she was. Honestly, I would probably be laughing at her while I helped her out of the fountain, and then you'd be reading all about it here anyway. But I would almost be willing to do the sitcom thing where I say shit like "I can't believe you just did that!" and "What the hell were you thinking?" right to her face as she wiped herself off.
|Fucking put it down while|
you are walking around.