|Bad boys, bad boys...|
So anyway, I can't sleep one night and I am flipping through the channels that I get in my wing of the Worldwide Headquarters and I discovered that Cops was on one of my friendly local stations. For those of you who don't remember, Cops is a show that was very popular in the late 90s and early to mid 2000s that featured a camera crew rolling around with police officers in usually southern or western American cities, and videotaping their exploits. Cops sort of staked its fame on the chase scenes, because they always seemed to feature a police officer who took his job way too seriously, and who would get a radio call and suddenly accelerate his Crown Victoria at high speed down a 4-lane road at night and before long he would jump out and start chasing some sort of minority through backyards, empty lots, etc. with the obviously overweight cameraman (who was also carrying several dozen pounds of recording equipment to be honest) huffing and puffing behind him and losing all care about if the picture was in frame or steady or not, which are all the things that get a cameraman hired in the first place.
Anyway, those are the trademarks of the show, and that is what I was reasonably expecting when I began to watch. But it was not to be. The first little segment followed a police officer who took his job a little too seriously in Las Vegas being called to help a motorcycle cop who tried to pull over a person who did not stop. So the police begin to follow this car, about 4 cop cars, at 30 miles per hour as if they were reliving the OJ chase or something. So they follow this chick in her Buick Century and are worried about stopping her before she gets to the crowded Las Vegas Strip, which they refuse to call the Strip and call Las Vegas Blvd over and over and over. So they follow this lady at a distance for blocks and blocks and blocks, before somewhere some Sgt. gives them the okay to take the lady out. The ram her car, she spins around, and then proceeds to hit a bus shelter or something.
This leads to the only good part of the show, when they take the dunk and slightly frightened woman into the back of a police car, and a half a dozen police officers who take their jobs way too seriously began to scream at and berate this poor woman for what she has done. Sarge shows up and he speaks to her kindly but matter-of-factly, but every time he turns his back the others start the yelling again. It was like a game of good cop/bad cop but with five bad cops. In the end she didn't want to pull over because she had never been pulled over before and failed a field sobriety test and went off to jail. All in all not very exciting.
Second little segment followed a police officer in Boise who took his job too seriously (he had named his son Justice) who stopped this sort of trashy looking guy in a fast car for not having a front license plate. After some questioning and lying they discover that the guy has some illegal pills in his car that he is delivering from some woman to an old man who is a friend of his. He also has a concealed weapon but has a permit. He goes to jail for having the pills. BORING!
Third segment is just as bad, as a police officer in Covington, Kentucky pulls over some jagweeds in a Geo Prizim with a different colored rear door for blowing a stop sign. Of course they have an open container and bag of weed in the car, and the cop - who takes his job way too seriously - gets the guy to claim the weed by threatening to send his girlfriend up the creek because it was under her seat. Then he lets the girlfriend and open entox guy go. Strange, but not that entertaining or memorable.
So I guess that my question is this: What happened to the good stuff? What happened to the car chases or the foot chases and the panting cameraman? The episode I watched was pretty much devoid of all of the hallmarks of Cops, and it was actually boring. I am not sure why I even bothered to watch it. And to be honest, I am not sure why they bothered to make it. I was seriously depressed by the whole experience, and I sort of came away with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth for law enforcement. But whatever, I suppose that in the end it is Cops and I shouldn't have really expected a whole lot, which is good because that's exactly what I got. Very little.