Friday, December 10, 2010

Let It Snow

      So there is a gigantic winter storm coming towards the Worldwide Headquarters, and they are forecasting somewhere between 2 and 18 inches of snow to fall down upon us, which is an awful large gap I think.  I mean, I could make vague predictions like that too, but then I would be a psychic and I could charge $1.95 per minute to have people hear me pump them out over the phone.  But I digress.  People, no matter were they live, tend to get a little scatterbrained and hectic, and a little wild, when a major event is on its way.  As such the supermarkets were packed today, everyone is cancelling plans, and the town is just generally running amok.  Those who are keeping their cool on the outside are mostly complaining and getting all worked up about the agony of the whole thing.
     Well let me in on a little secret there, Company.  I am very quietly and totally discretely leaping with joy.  I LOVE the big weather event, and I love it even more when it is a big severe weather event.  But most people don't so I conceal my joy, at least until I announce it to the world on the Internet.  But I do love it, and as odd as it sounds I am looking forward to it.  One of my strangest dreams is that someday I get stuck on the Interstate in the middle of a blizzard for a couple of days until men in blaze orange can dig me out with a giant snowblower on some sort of Caterpillar.  Then, someday the Weather Channel can talk all about it, and they can do a sweeping picture from above from a helicopter and all you can see is white and snow blowing around and just the tops of cars sticking out from above and I can be like "I was there!  That was my car!  See it right there!?"  That is one of my messed up dreams.  So I am looking forward to the opportunity for that to happen, except that I am not going to be going anywhere on the freeway.  So that won't be happening.
     But there will be plenty of looking out the window and talking about how bad things look out there.  And there will be plenty of shoveling in the screaming cold wind afterward, and there will be the sweet silence and the sweet sound of plows scraping the asphalt clean.  I love it.  I might even go out and drive around for a bit just to get the misery of the whole thing.  There is something about the misery that I just seem to like, or at least of the misery of the wintertime.  So it's coming.  And I will be happy.  And it will be cool.  Cold actually, but that is for another time.

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