Thursday, December 09, 2010

Happy Holidays

    Well Company, it is that time of the year when we begin to give each other holiday greetings, and since most of the major worldwide religions and groups have some sort of holiday that falls around the change in the calendar year, there is always someone who is ready and willing to get offended by whatever holiday greeting one happens to give, hence the "Happy Holidays" that is becoming the official norm for just about every corporation or public entity.  Because then no one can be offended.
     Well guess what?  I am offended.  I am offended that nobody seems to have their head on straight, that too many people take too many things way too seriously, and that way too many people seem to have forgotten that the world does not revolve around them.  In fact, some of these loser assholes have postulated in academic papers that the world, solar system, and universe all revolve around them at the center, but they have been unable to get acceptable peer reviews and hence be published.  That is because it is bullshit, and the world doesn't revolve around them.  The world revolves around its own axis as well as the sun, as well as whatever is at the center of the Milky Way.  So take that little piece of science and cram it down your cramhole.  You can also cram your "Happy Holidays" bullshit down there as well because this year, I am all about the Merry Christmas.
     That is because I choose to celebrate Christmas, and I don't give a shit if you don't happen to.  If you wish to celebrate Hanukkah or Chanukah or Chanuka or however they are spelling it these days, then you can wish me a happy that.  Because you, as the particular devotee, are able and free to wish anyone whatever you want.  I am not going to wish you a joyous Ramadan because I don't care about Ramada, I don't celebrate Ramadan, and I don't know anything about Ramadan.  But I am also not going to get offended if you celebrate Ramadan and give me Ramadan tidings.  I don't expect you to tailor your holiday greetings to me because I don't expect you to know what holiday each person walking by or coming to your register or that is on the other side of the gas pump.  Plus you don't celebrate whatever they do, one would guess. 
    But is because I have come to understand that the world does not revolve around me and my choices, and I am not a jerkbag asshole who has no real sense of reality and things that are appropriate.  So I know what the hell is going on.  It is all about expectation, and I expect that you aren't going to get all pissed off if I wish you a Merry Christmas.
     So there it is.  There is no reason whatsoever for you to get mad when someone wishes you a holiday-specific greeting, okay?  If you do you are a self-absorbed, condescending asshole who should be drug out into the street and beaten repeatedly.  Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are really, truly, insulted because I wished you a Merry Christmas.  I am going to suspect that the answer is no.  And if the answer is yes then I think that I am going to have to burn your house down while you sleep, right after I put a burning tire in front of each exit and board up the windows, because you are not the type of person who should be out and about in society.  You are what is wrong with this world.  As such, I wish you all a Merry Christmas, and you may feel to wish me a happy whatever you want.

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