Friday, December 17, 2010

The Day You Were Born

     I was sitting down in my office and going through the 2011 calendar, getting ready to put everyone's birthday on it.  I happened to notice that there were a ton and a half birthdays in December, and hardly any anywhere else.  Then I started looking through all my stuff and I noticed that most of my friends seemed to have birthdays in November and December.  So what's up with that?
     Humping, that is what's with that.  And humping on two specific days.  Here are the facts for you, Company, laid out and plain - if you were born in late November your dad probably knocked up your mom on Valentine's Day, and if you were born in the middle to late December, it probably happened on St. Patrick's Day.
     That's the truth.  Fancy dinner and flowers and green beer seem to be both work equally well, and since December seems more popular than late November, it seems that green beer works much better than the whole Hallmark thing.  This is rooted in truth, and I have science to prove it.  The normal human gestation period is considered 37 to 42 weeks by the World Health Organization (WHO), but for all intensive purposes it is considered 40 weeks, which is 280 days.  So, I did the math.  280 days from February 14th is November 21 on the average (non-leap) year; 280 days from March 17 is December 22.  So there you go.  That pretty much sums it up.  Valentine's Day humpage leads to late November or very early December children, and St. Patrick's Day humpage leads to December babies.  It's science.
      So how do you feel about that?  It really wasn't that hard to figure out.  If you can plan out when you want to have a child so as to conceive at a more convenient time, you can always extrapolate backwards and find out what was going on.  And that is that.  Lots of couple stumbled home from the bar in their festive green and went at it, and a lot of us popped out at Christmas time as a result, which is not all so bad because back in the day you got to go home in a little Christmas stocking and wake everyone up super early on Christmas morning.  Happy birthday to all you St Patrick's Day conceptions.

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