Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Ten Pieces of Helpful Advice

Here is some helpful advice for you as you go through your life that we learned from recent crimes that were committed:

1.)  Don't commit a crime while driving a car with vanity plates.

2.)  If you go through all the work to remove a safe from its normal location, and then crack it open, make sure to take all of the money inside.

3.)  Get a permit or license if you intend to sell anything in a public place.

4.)  Don't expose yourself in public when already under arrest for something else.

5.)  You can get a DUI on a forklift.

6.)  If you are planning an illegal event, don't post notice of it on Facebook.

7.)  Don't smoke marijuana in the hospital smoking area to celebrate the birth of your first child.

8.)  Writing a robbery note on the back of your paycheck.  You will be found.

9.)  It is not appropriate to call 911 if you believe that you are locked IN your car.

10.) Working out on the freeway bridge is a fucking dumbass idea.

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