Now Company, I know that it is November 1, and I am usually the first one to discard the last holiday and move on to the next one, especially when the next major one is Thanksgiving, and that is my favorite of them all, but I want to take a minute to reflect on the Halloween that has just passed. I understand that I have already spent an inordinate amount of time bitching about how parents and some kids act on Halloween, and I spent the afternoon at Baby Doll's handing out candy to the local little bastards and I have to say, I am half hopeful and half enraged.
Let's start with the good. There were a lot of parents who were out walking with their kids in the neighborhood. Most of them stood on the street or the lawn as the kiddos came up and knocked on the door, but there were a pretty good amount of parents doing the good parent thing, although I think I saw one with a beer which is simultaneously awesome and scary at the same time. And I would say that well over half, maybe like 70% of the kids were polite and said "Trick or Treat!" when I opened the door and "Thank You!" when I closed it. That's all I ask. The ultimate came when a set of parents accompanied their two children in sweet costumes to the door, and not only did the kids say thank you but the parents did too. That is just a little extra classy, and the walked off to the next stop like a neat little family unit. It was nice and it made me smile.
What was not nice, and what didn't make me smile, was when I knew kids were coming to the door because I heard a car door close first. Even when the kid was dressed up all nice, and they were polite and said the appropriate things, I was still always a little angry when I saw the parent or guardian sitting in the car. And it was sunny and not terribly cold, so I see no excuse. I could give a pass if it was 22º and snowing during trick or treat time, but this was not the case. I wanted, when I saw that, to pop back out the door and take out the car window with a rock. But that would have been bad I suppose. The ultimate in worst came when there was a knock on the door, and I opened it to reveal a kid who was about ten or eleven. He was wearing an NFL t-shirt and sweatpants, which - I am sorry - does not constitute a costume. Maybe if there was a helmet or some face paint involved I could understand, but just putting on whatever was in your drawer doesn't count. So number one, kid is not dressed up. Number two, he just stands there with a plastic bag in his hands looking at me. So I just look back at him. And he just looks back at me as if I am the retarded retard knocking on doors then standing there expecting something for nothing. So I look at the kid and say "Well...?" and he sort of half ass mumbles "Trick or treat." So I gave him some candy and he trundled off on his way. Oh yeah, number three, he was chubbly, which made the whole thing that much worse.
So in the end, there was a lot of bad news but a lot of good, hopeful news that came out of Halloween 2010, the best of which is that we had a whole lot of candy left. And that there is hope that maybe, just maybe, we aren't all as lazy and stupid as I was afraid we were. Thanks for walking with your kids, parents. And thanks for dressing up and being polite, kids. You really did put a smile on my face.