Yesterday - if you were listening, Company - we talked about purple and why it was suddenly a Halloween color. While we are on the subject of Halloween, I want to know more about when every costume had to become something super slutty or perverted.
During all that time we were wandering around looking for costumes, it because painfully obvious that all the costumes - with the exception of the ones for little kids - were basically super slutty. Or at least extremely perverted in the case of the men's costumes. For all the women, it was always super tight or short skits with high boots and all sorts of cleavage, and for the guys it was all foam penis' and innuendo, and every package had the word "sexy" or a synonym on it. Even the costumes for the teenagers were the same thing: all short skirts and heels but with words like "flirty" or "mischievous" but which really should be read as "slutty."
So what's the deal with that? Why all the ho-ish-ness all the sudden? And who can I complain about for forcing this upon us? Personally, I actually blame the bars for this one. You know, the bars, pubs, saloons, etc. Yeah. Hear me out. Somewhere along the way, the bars decided that Halloween would make a nice theme, with costume contests and drink specials, etc. to get the youth of America in to consume alcohol. See, going to the bar gets a little old after awhile, so you have to have all sorts of promotions to sort of break up the monotony. The thing about it is that the youth of America goes to the bar to get laid, so all the ladies who wanted to look good, get some free drinks, and get a piece, started tarting up their outfits. And it spread like wildfire.
And we are all whores, even the boys, because we are wearing giant foam penises on ourselves. So that is that. I mean, it is one thing to dress provocatively, but it is another to be all out trampy. You can be a police officer without having to be a sexy police officer. You can be a vampire without being a sexy vampire. You can be a beer wench without being a sexy beer wench. Okay, bad example. But you get the point here people. The idea of a costume has long since been lost on the people who manufacture our costumes. No longer can you just get a Frankenstein, no longer can you just get a devil. It's all sexy crap. And you know what? I am all about sexy, I am all about short skits with boobs hanging out, but sometimes it just doesn't belong. And sometimes it's just not needed. And it is not needed in Halloween, unless you are going as a skank. Then, by all means skank out.