Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Cough Syrup

    I do not understand how cough syrup is supposed to work.  Maybe it is because it has rarely, if ever, worked for me - I don't know.  But I do know that I am not sure how it is supposed to get its job done.
    Except for NyQuil, of course.  That gets its job done by knocking you the fuck out.  But the other stuff?  First of all, I pour you down my throat, and the amount that I pour down there I am pretty sure is not enough to coat my throat all the way down to wear a lefty takes you down Bronchial St. and a righty puts you on the Digestive Highway.  So I am not even sure I am getting to coverage I need.  Second, I pour you down my throat and the very next time I cough, all that cough syrup just comes up with it; scoured off the sides of my throat as if by rushing water over time.  Except this is a more violent, one-time thing.  So I guess it's nothing like the rushing water over time.  Nevertheless, it is still gone, rendered ineffective by the almost inhuman volume and strength of my expulsion.
    Okay, let's say that you manage to get in there.  Here is the big point.  Most of the time, I am coughing to try and remove the thick, choking mucus that is covering my tickle spot at the back of my throat.  Now you come along, cough syrup, and propose to help me stop coughing by covering that very same spot with a thick, choking liquid.  Hmmm...bold strategy.  Instead of that, why don't you give me something that will eat away at the mucus that is slowly taking years off my life?
    Now, in all fairness, I understand that there is more than just that going on here.  I understand that there are a bunch of medicines in the syrup and that the stuff must work or else it wouldn't still be on the market, the last holdout of the wild apothecary days of the turn of the last century.  But still I can but help to wonder, every time I open the hatch and throw back that little cup of green or red or orange liquid, how this is going to help me and just make me worse.  And usually it just does nothing.  Unless - like I said - it is NyQuil.  Then it will put me out.  And that always works.

1 comment:

BradPerala said...