Thursday, October 14, 2010


     Sometimes, as I go through my life, and I am not sure how to describe something in a way that those to whom I am speaking will understand, I take a proper noun that is known to them and add the suffix "-ish."  You know, Castro-ish would mean "a lot like Fidel Castro" and Miller High Life-ish means "a lot like Miller High Life."  Fair enough.
     And so it was with Applish.  It was a drink, in like a little one-pint container, that almost sort of resembled apple juice.  It was stuck down hidden below the orange and looked like a nice diversion from the usual.  I thought it would be apple, but when the label said "applish" in a nice, modern font, I was intrigued.  So I poked around and looked at the ingredients on the label and noticed that nowhere was the word "apple" to be found.  Now I was hooked.
     And applish it was.  It tasted exactly like it looked: like watered down apple juice.  There was no nutrition, and probably not much beyond the water and "natural flavors and colors" that was natural, but for eighty cents what more could you want?  It was actually -ish in every way, because it almost approximated everything.  It almost quenched my thirst.  It almost tasted like apple juice.  It almost had some natural stuff in it.  It almost provided nutrition (mostly sugar and carbs).  It almost did everything apples do.  Applish.
     I briefly thought that maybe, just maybe, they were trying to be super cool and mix the words "apple" and "delicious" with slick colors and fonts to make me want to buy.  That seems like the kind of thing a company peddling that crap would do.  And you know, that is probably what it was intended to be, unless of course the FDA wouldn't let them call it apple.  But in the end, it really was applish because it wasn't quite apple.  It was just Applish.

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