I could never understand it, Company, I never could. National Football League season rolls around and legions of buffoons in ill-fitting jeans and Miller Lite t-shirts run down to the nearest big box retailer or electronics or home entertainment store and plunk down thousands of dollars on a TV that can only be described as excessive. Oh, or unnecessary. So I guess that there are two ways to describe it.
It is, however, the unnecessary part that I am more interested in. Because it is never necessary. I don't care how much you like the NFL, or how many Warren Sapp jerseys that you have or think you need, you don't need a 674" plasma high-def flatter-than-flat-screen with 1080 g-2.1 Dolby surround sound system hooked up to the million billion channel NFL package satellite plan. No, you don't need that, the TV you have is good enough.
Or is it? Probably, but if you don't have cable or satellite you had might as well just forget about it. I am in that boat. I don't have cable or satellite in my wing of the Worldwide Headquarters, and I can't pick up CBS or Fox. So what is a guy to do? I get NBC when the weather is a certain way, so that gets me one game a week maybe, but then I hate NBC sports (well, hate is a strong word, so let's just say that I really do not prefer their coverage). So I am forced by circumstance to watch that. And as for Mondays, let's put that on a network that is only on TV. That's even worse. Let's automatically cut out a section of the population for no real reason. I can't imagine that ABC has anything on Monday night that is trumping the ratings that Monday Night Football pulled in. I mean, I like Castle as much as the next guy, but I certainly would rather watch even a game like Denver at Buffalo than any sitcom or prime time drama you'd put out there.
So what is a guy to do? We are getting dangerously close to needing something, if not the gigantic television then certainly the service. Or do I? Am I maybe just overreacting? I mean, every NFL game is on the radio, isn't it? Well, they are, for the most part, and the game that I am interested in every week certainly is available on multiple stations that serve the Worldwide Headquarters. So many in fact, that at times I would think that you would be hard pressed to find music on the dial on a Sunday afternoon, unless of course you can pull in WKRP in Cincinnati. So anyway, I can listen. But have you ever sat down and just tried to listen to a football game on the radio? I cannot do it. Just like I can't sit down and listen to a baseball game on the radio, or even just sit down and listened to the radio while staring at it and wearing a lame bluish-gray sweater, a dress shirt, slacks, and loafers and smoking a pipe with big dark-rimmed glasses like I am in the 50s or something. I can't do it. I have even tried the Doris Kearns Goodwin way and tried to score the baseball games along with them on the radio and that doesn't even help all that much. So anyway, the same with football. I have to be driving in the car or raking leaves or putting up the storm windows or running a rummage sale or something while I listen. So that just leads me to being more productive and cleaning my house or something like that, and we all know that won't do. That doesn't fit my lazy image as well. And we can't have that. So then I guess I am more like all those frivolous consumers than I ever realized, and while I am out having to obtain some sort of television service I might as well go ahead and just buy the gigantic primo television. I wonder if anyone has anything on sale...