Monday, September 13, 2010

Ten Lists in Ten Days: Proposals That Probably Won't Work

We had so much fun with our last "Ten Lists in Ten Days" special promotion that we are doing it again.  Today: Ten Proposals That Probably Won't Work.

1.) Throw the ring at her from across the room and scream "Fine, we'll do it, just get off my back" even though she has never pressured you to marry her before.

2.)  Take her to Paris, then on the way back to the US tell the French authorities that she is smuggling government secrets out of the country and that she is a spy.  Let the take her away, interrogate her, then lock her in prison.  Come to bail her out and say "I wanted to show you that I will be faithful to you through anything.  Will you marry me?"

3.)  Take her to a sporting event, and make her watch a bunch of other couples propose on the Megatron and bitch about how much she hates that because it should be a private, romantic event and then have a skywriter do it in the sky outside the arena with the name misspelled just in case she says no you can play it off as a joke.

4.)  Ask the first woman without a ring on her finger, even if you don't know her.

5.)  Modify one of those dart guns to shoot a ring, then hide in the bushes at the park when she is there walking the dog, then shoot it at her so it gets impaled in her shoulder or arm or something, and then when the EMTs come and take her to the emergency room and the doctors remove it then it's a ring with a little note that asks if she will marry you.

6.)  Drive your car through the front wall of her house or apartment, get out and scream "I'm here! Wanna get hitched up?"

7.)  Put is in some ice cream or other frozen concoction so that when she accidentally puts it into her mouth it gets frozen to her tongue and then she has to rip it off and it hurts a shit ton.

8.)  Slip the ring on her finger while she is sleeping and when she wakes up say "You didn't say no!"

9.)  Take her out on a romantic hot air balloon ride, but make sure you are in cahoots with the hot air balloon operators.  Place the ring on the rope that pulls open the top of the balloon to let the hot air out and make the balloon fall.  Right as the balloon is starting to rise off the ground, at an altitude of like four feet, "accidentally" knock the instructor out of the basket.  As the balloon seems to rise uncontrollably and she is getting super scared, continue to freak out and scream at her to frantically yank on the rope to make the balloon come back to Earth.  The ring will slide down the rope as she yanks on it and go right into her hand.

10.)  Do it on Facebook.

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