Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Shot to the Head

     Have you ever been shot in the head, Company?  Me neither.  I have claimed from time to time that I wished I could be shot in the face in lieu of whatever else I was doing at the time, but that was always an excessive exaggeration meant to display just how much I hated whatever was going on around me, or which I was a part of.  I don't really want to be shot in the face, or any other part of the head.  Although, under the right circumstances it might not be so bad.  It wasn't for Robert Chojecki.
      See, Robbie recently went to the doctor, which I desperately want to spell "doktor" because he lives in Germany, and found out something that he didn't know.  As it turns out, Robbie is 35 years old, and for the last four (4) of those years he has been walking around with a .22 slug in his head.
     Yep, that's right.  He figures he received the wound on New Years' Eve five years ago in the town of Herne in Germany (Don't ask about the discrepancy in the year thing, okay?  I am just quoting from the article that I read, I am a jackass blogger not some sort of University math professor) while piss drunk.  He figures that he thought he was hit with a firework.  Hmmm...that's fucking retarded.  He knew, apparently that there was a bump in his head where God and Mother Nature never intended a bump to be, but he never really thought anything of it until the headaches started.  And since John Redcorn wasn't around to treat them, he went to see Herr Doktor.
     So, here is the deal.  I read this and a whole bunch of funny puns and one liners came to mind.  And seeing as how Mr. Chojecki is Polish, let's start with this one:

How long does it take a Polock to realize that he has been shot in the head?  Five years.

      Hold on, I have more.  Try this one on for size:

How drunk do you have to be to get shot in the head and not realize it?  New Years in Herne drunk.

     Now some more:

What does it take to forget you've been shot in the head? .22

He's got such a thick head a .22 won't even hurt it.  It's been proven by science.

This New Year is off like a shot. (That would have been more appropriate had he actually discovered in at the time it happened.)

     All of this leads me to this question, too:

If you shoot Robert Chojecki in the head, will he remember before the statute of limitation runs out?

     I am not sure.  But that brain slug (literally! HA!) must have knocked something loose.  I think that all the blood (there had to have been blood) and the giant bump and everything else would have had me in asking questions.  For certain I wouldn't have waited a year once the headaches started.  But whatever.  I am only park Polack.  And I have never been shot with a .22, thankfully.

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