Saturday, August 07, 2010

Seeing Double

     Here is a sort of an anti-public service announcement from all of us here at Big Dave and Company.  If you are one of a pair of twins - and it has to be the kind who look identical, which I guess would be called identical twins - then go out and commit a crime.  Any crime you want to.  And you might get away with it if you are careful enough.  The reason I say this, Company, if because currently, as I type, authorities in upstate New York are having trouble figuring out which of two 31-year old Niagara Falls identical twins to charge with a shooting.
     Both Edward and Raymond Nickens are being held on suspicion of committing the crime as the Law & Order type folks attempt to get their stories straight.  The brothers wore matching clothes and goatees during their court appearance and for all intensive purposes look the same, with one major difference: they have different tattoos.  That is why prosecutors have received permission from the courts to photograph them both with their shirts both on and off in order to determine who matches witness descriptions.
     Now, I think this is hilarious, because even identical twins are usually able to be told apart in some way, shape, or form.  Now, it may be difficult for the average Joe who doesn't know them, but for family and friends it is usually no sweat.  That is because twins usually somehow begin to differentiate themselves as time goes on, especially after 31 years one would think.  Usually the Parent Trap days pass as kids and the individuals start to like different music, act a little differently, hang around with different friends, etc.  But then again, I wouldn't expect the powers that be to be able to hone in on all that stuff.  But for fuck's sake, they have different tattoos.
     DIFFERENT TATTOOS!  Tattoos are permanent, Company, so it's not like they switched them over in their holding cell.  And you can't tell me that they never saw the guys with their shirts off.  So what is the big deal then here?  And who were the witnesses?  I understand that you need court permission to take the photographs if you want to use them as evidence, but come on.  Is this that hard?  Is it so bad that you have to show up in the "weird news" section of the Internet?  I mean, what is going on here?  Can someone explain it to me?  Just figure it out.  Take DNA samples.  Get Horatio Caine on the case and figure out what is going on.  Or just throw them both in jail for being douchebags.
     In any event, if you are twin go to upstate New York - the least New York-y part of New York State - and you are part of a pair of twins, have at it.  By the time they figure out who you are you'll be in Pennsylvania or Ontario.  But that's a whole other issue.

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