Thursday, August 26, 2010

Huh? Now What?

    Sometimes it is worth noting, as we make our way along through our lives just how important an issue perspective can be.  Because no two people will ever have the same one; no two of us think alike, talk alike, analyze things alike, or have had the same set of experiences.  I suppose, if you put a million people in a million different universes, it is bound to happen, just like the monkeys with typewriters thing, but we can’t really say with certainty whether there are those millions of people in millions of universes or not floating around out there, so we have to stick with what we know.  And what we know is that the modern equivalent to monkeys with typewriters – unpaid interns with an early version of Microsoft Word – will still always put our crap.  No Shakespeare here.
     Wait, what?  Where was I?  Oh yeah, perspective.  It’s important.  It is the origin of “walk a mile in my shoes” because like I said we all come at things from different angles, like ninjas.  Which are cool, although I always wondered about their dress.  I mean, I understand the black part, because ninjas are nocturnal and they always operate at night, or do they operate at night because they have to wear black.  Like, was black the cheapest color ninja suit they could get, and that’s why they have them?  The dojo isn’t made out of yen you know.  I bet black is symbolic for something – perhaps super silent kung-fu ninja death.  I mean, black is the color of funerals so I suppose that makes sense.
This where you would look up "melty."
     Sorry, that was a tangent.  That's not on you, Company.  Anyway, back to perspective.  As I was saying, it is important in life because not only do we all come from different places but we all have different experiences and whatnot.  Like, for instance, I have gone to the fair a time or two, whereas there are lots of people who have never been to the fair before EVER!  Could you imagine that one?  Never having ridden the tilt-a-whirl, seen a dirty carny making out with a fat chick behind the Zipper while kids barf up their corn dogs.  Speaking of which, lots of people go to the friendly local fair for the corn dogs, and I am not sure what is all about that.  I have eaten more than my fair share of corn dogs in my day, as you would be able to tell if I posted my picture, but I was unable to discern what was so great about the corn dogs at the fair.  The cheese curds, however, were phenomenal.  I spent a lot of years in my life living in the state that is known for cheese, and have ingested a whole lot of it in the curd variety, and these were the best things in the history of dairy products. First of all, they were breaded and deep fried, and they were so fresh out of the fryer that they were still melty on the inside.  Is melty a word?  It is now.  Because that is what they were.  Add a little marinara and some ranch (not mixed together, that would be gross) and it was heaven in a little paper basket.  Man, this is making me hungry.  What was I talking about again?
     Oh right, the perspective and its importance.  You know what else is important?  Air.  Air is one of those things that is super important but is always taken for granted.  It is one of those things that you don't really think about or appreciate until it is gone, and by then it is too late because you are dead without air.  Whether you are buried under the ground or in water or beer or a nitrogen vacuum, it is not air and you will die.  And it will be gruesome and painful and you will remember every minute of it.  So appreciate your air while you have it, asshole.
     Did I just call you an asshole, Company?  Sorry about that.  I can't seem to remember what I was talking about.  I seem to have a little touch of the ADD this morning.  Or evening.  Or whatever it is.  I am not really sure anymore.  Is that something shiny?

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