Monday, July 19, 2010

I Approved this Message

"My name is Big Dave, and I approved this message."
     No fucking shit.  Here is the deal, Company, I am so sick of hearing jackweed politicians on my television saying "I am Big McJingwak, and I approved this message" it is out of control.  If I have to hear that one more time I am going to stab someone in the neck, which is unfortunate because I know I am going to have to hear it.  And then I am going to have to stab someone in the neck with like a pitchfork or something.  Following the colon is the reason that I hate having to hear people on TV say that: I am not a fucking retard, okay?  If you are in a commercial on TV, in which you are speaking directly into the camera words that were written specifically for that commercial, by the time you get to line six I have already figured out that you approved that message, okay?  Because you have taken the time out of your busy schedule of taking money from lobbyists and cheating on your wife to read these lines to me.  That's how I figured it out.
     Back when George W. said it for the first time during one of his Presidential elections, it was new and fresh and innovative, but now it is just sort of washed up.  I suppose that I understand why the politicians feel the need to do this though.  There are lots of times when a group that supports you, but with which you might not want to be associated, will cut together some clips of you saying things at speeches, luncheons, gala events, etc. and make a commercial out of it without your knowledge and consent.  And since, in politics, who you know and who you hang around with are the most important things I guess I can understand.  But it is so easy - if you have half a brain - to figure out the difference.  Plus, every commercial says right on the bottom who paid for it.
     So I guess that once you sort of wrap your head around the whole idea what you will find is that politicians think we are fucking morons, and that they only care about us so much as we are able to vote them into office.  Now, I am not going to get into a debate on ideas or issues here, we are talking about the single line in the commercial: "I am Fuckbag O'Pisspants and I approved this message." Democrats and Republicans and Libertarians and Independents and everyone else are all equally clupable and all need to be hacked off at the knees by one of those chariots with the knives sticking out of the wheel.  And then a cougar needs to pounce on their near lifeless body and tear it to shreds.  What I suppose I am saying then, is that you can take your personally approved message and wad it up real tight and stuff it up your fucking ass, because I am sick of hearing it.  If your giant fucking head is there on the screen, floating on air in front of an American flag that is blowing in the wind, yet somehow you hair is perfect and unmoving like its Jimmy Johnson's or something, and you just told me about how everyone in Washington sucks and you think that you are going to be different, then I understand that you approved the message because you were in it.  I don't need some shitburglar telling me what I already know.  So go to hell.  I approved that.

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