Friday, June 11, 2010

Ode to Beer

     Well troops, the weekend is just about upon us, and as I sat here at my desk, thinking about quitting time and getting a raging, mega-hard boner, I pulled out my tickets to the friendly local beer festival that is happening tomorrow and some thought started to percolate inside of my head.
    First was about these beer festivals.  They have become popular, with thousands of them being held each summer across America.  Most of them aren't like Oktoberfest in Munich or a hundred other towns, but they are smaller affairs in which, oh say, a couple of dozen craft brewers come and give out memorabilia and samples of their stuff.  So that is what I am going to, and it got me thinking: beer is good.  And it's been a long time since we have featured beer.  So this weekend at Big Dave and Company we are going to pay homage to beer.
     Ahhh yes, beer.  I once watched a show on one of those cable networks that all sort of seem the same now: History Channel, A&E, TLC, etc.  Those ones.  This show was about people trying to find historical basis for the Biblical story of Noah and his Ark.  One of the things that they postulated was that the tale was based on the experience of some people from the Fertile Crescent - Mesopotamia if you would prefer that terminology - who for whatever reason made a then epic journey down the Persian Gulf and ended up somewhere around present-day Bahrain.  What is the point, Big Dave?  I hear you asking that.  Let me respond with a question: What do you think they took with them to drink on that epic voyage?  Water?  NOPE.  Beer.  They could made beer (or maybe meed) and it wouldn't spoil on the long voyage in the hot sun.  Sure it would be a little skunky but compared to diphtheria or something, I think it was fine.
     Beer has been around for a long time, and it has served as an important part of the food world.  That is the point here, Company.  You can tell that it has been around for a long, long time because they make it EVERYWHERE and make it out of lots of different grains.  I mean, it's not vodka where you can make it out of wheat or beets or used car mufflers, but you can make beer out of barley, wheat, rice, etc.  So it's good.  And beer doesn't really spoil.  I once lived next to a house that burned down, in late March on a night when it was snowing.  It didn't burn down completely; the deck on the back was one of the areas that was saved.  Since it was a party house (I lived in a college town at the time) there should be no surprise that there was a partial case of Milwaukee's Best (The Beast) on the back deck.  Well, since the house burned down no one was living there, and the burned out shell of the house sat all summer long, through the heat and the sun and all that shit, until finally in like August or so they came to tear down the rest.  I sat in my living room window, watching the guys and the machines going about their work, when I noticed one of the workers walk to the back deck, pick up the case of The Beast, put it on his shoulder, and go home for the day.  Such is the power of beer, that he would take some that survived the fire and the water damage and five months out in the sun and it still probably didn't make him sick.
      So beer, it's great.  People make it in their bathtubs.  Kids break into detached garages to steal it.  I know for a fact that it has helped bring children into this world in a sort of round about way.  There are clouds of it floating around the universe.  And it makes brats taste great.  Is there anything it can't do?  More on beer tomorrow.  Have a wonderful night, Company.  Prost.

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