Monday, May 17, 2010

Them Weekly

     So I was paging through the pages of an old Us Weekly the other day and I thought to myself: "The is the stupidest fucking thing that I have ever seen."
     Now, I was reading the Us Weekly because it was only one of two magazines on the hospital magazine rack that was not either AARP Magazine or Money Magazine, which do not appeal to my because I am not of AARP age and I have no money, respectively.  So I cast aside the four month old Sports Illustrated aside and I was looking at the pictures of Us Weekly of all the beautiful people doing stuff, and I made the mistake of starting to read some of the words that were there.  Not a good idea.  There was a sections called "Stars - They are Just Like Us!" that showed the entertainment starts of the world doing things like pumping gas or drinking coffee and apparently the writers, editors, and regular readers of Us Weekly feel that they deserve a fucking cookie for that shit.
     Then - THEN! They started talking about all the stars love lives (it was a Valentine's Day-time edition of the magazine) and how some of them - GASP! - were struggling to deal with breakups.   And every breakup that every star goes through is the worst breakup in the history of the world, and that they are the strongest human beings alive because they are able to go out and see a movie after their beau was seen with someone else.  Well you know what?  That shit happens EVERY FUCKING DAY to regular people, and you should not get special attention for it just because you wore some skimpy clothes in a bad movie or sold your soul to be on a TV reality show.  Regular people - on a daily basis - get dumped, go out and drown their sorrows until 2 am, drag themselves hung over into work the next morning looking like a sack of shit in a shirt and tie and get yelled at by their bosses, and I don't see any of those people photographed in Us Weekly with little captions under them that have an exclamation point at the end of them 1005 of the time.
      How about this for an idea?  Why don't you put a picture of regular people spending 3/5 of their monthly income in order to have an anniversary dinner at a place that a celebrity would go on a regular basis and call it 'Regular People - They Are Just Like Celebrities!"  Why don't we celebrate the regular, everyday people who make this country tick on a regular basis, not the retards who go on TV and get ratings just because the rest of us can't find the remote control?  That would be neat.

No comments: