Here is just a short list of some things that have happened recently. Feel free to digest them at your leisure. If you want to know more you are on your own.
- A man in Massachusetts had his head and shoulders sucked into a vacuum-type sausage seasoning machine that accidentally activated while it was being cleaned.
- A man was arrested in Pennsylvania for threatening his girlfriend with a meat cleaver during an argument over the recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Like that will really help with the cleanup.
- Someone in Colorado got a lip tattoo, which was used to identify them as the perpetrator in a robbery. I can't believe they were arrested for getting a lip tattoo.
- A man in Washington state who had an outstanding warrant for his arrest and a bunch of heroin in his possession tried to dial Room 119 and accidentally dialed 911. When authorities came by to see what was up, they arrested him.
- Police in El Paso, Texas arrested a man they were chasing at a carnival when they saw his sneakers sticking out from under a pile of teddy bears. If he were smart he would have set that up and then ran away barefoot. That's how MacGyver would have done it.