Thursday, April 01, 2010

A is for April

 is for April.  That is the obvious starting point for our April Alphabetic Post Promotion.  Say that five times fast.  Anyway, it's easy, it fits, and it allows me to still do an April Fool's Day joke on you, but I am not.  Because I don't want to.  Also, which also starts with A, it's way better than "A is for Asparagus" which is the first thought to pop into my head, and which I already had the first paragraph written when I realized that it was a dumb idea, no matter how trendy of a vegetable it is right now.
     So April it is, a month, and a pretty name for a girl.  April showers bring May flowers.  There is something about April that just brings Spring to mind.  I don't know about you, but when I think of the seasons in my mind, winter is always December, January, and February; while spring is March, April, and May.  Meteorologists and astronomers will probably not agree with me.  But that's how I think of it.  The problem with that, at least where I live, is that March doesn't always conform, and ends up being more of a spring month in winter's clothing.  It's cold and dreary and might hit 50 if you are lucky, but will still involve me shoveling somewhere along the way.  April, though, is when the magic happens in terms of spring, when spring proper arrives.  The air gets that sort of different feeling to it, and the whole outside begins to smell like growth and rebirth.  It's like Mother Nature just put on a green dress and sprayed herself with a little perfume.  April is when spring kicks itself into gear and everything wakes up.  Hope may spring eternal, but April is when it sticks out it's little head.
     So I am gushing over April.  Just settle and let it happen, I am almost done.  A lot of other things happen at this time of year that are neat.  Tax Day, in America, falls on April 15th every year, a day on which the Post Office becomes infinitely more relevent than normal, and when people line up in lines that stretch around the block in order to tell the Federal Government just how much they actually made, and how much they should get back.  It's always a sight to see: people desperately trying to get their letter postmarked before midnight so they don't turn into a pumpkin.  It looks like one of those lines you see of people waiting to buy concert tickets, where they camp out and all that bullshit.  Here is my question though: how many of those people do you think actually get their stuff postmarked on time?  I don't know if you've noticed this, Company, but in the last, oh...ten years or so, the United States Postal Service (USPS) has taken to sorting and postmarking their mail at central processing facilities, so like when I send a letter from here, it is trucked to a building in a town 90-ish miles away to be sorted, checked, and that's where the postmark is applied.  For instance, if you mail a letter from Marquette, Michigan it will arrive with a postmark that says "Kingsford, Michigan."  So the question comes up that, if you wait patiently in line on April 15th to put your tax return in the mail, and you drop it in the slot at like 11:45 pm, then how it is going to get to the central processing facility in time to be postmarked April 15?  My guess is that on that particular day, they postmark the envelopes at the counter, but still, it makes a guy wonder.  April 15, 2010, by the way, falls on a Thursday.
     Easter Sunday in the Christian religion often falls in April, so this is the time of year when we take all the patient teaching of elementary school teachers around the world and turn it on its head by telling kids that rabbits are somehow associated with eggs.  Which, by the way, they are not.  Rabbits don't lay eggs, and I am about 647% sure that they do not eat them either.  I mean, I suppose that at some time there is an egg like during the insemination process, but I just don't know.  And then, when Cadbury comes along and puts a white bunny in a comercial who is clucking like a chicken and surrounded by chocolate eggs, well, that makes me wonder how the United Kingdom can be beating the United States on its education scores.  And it leaves scored of confused children around the world. 
     Opening Day for Major League Baseball is always in April, because you can't play a ridiculously long 162-game schedule without starting that early.  The baseball season takes up basically every non-winter day of the year, from the beginning of April until mid-October.  That's a lot.  Even those guys who play three and five and seven-day long cricket test matches go "Damn, that's a long-ass season."  But it's okay, because baseball is a wonderful thing to have on in the background while you are doing just about anything else, and it suits itself well to radio, so you can listen in the car or while you are having a picnic or whatever.  You can even be one of those people who sits in the stands at the baseball game and listens to it on their Walkman.  Seems to me to defeat the purpose, but what do I know?
     So that is April, in a nutshell.  It is here and life is good and it starts with the letter "A."  I hope you all have a wonderful month!

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