Thursday, March 11, 2010

The Longest 15 Minutes

     Well Company, Corey Haim is dead and I am struggling to find someone who cares.
     For those of you who don't know, Corey Haim was a child actor from the 1980s who starred in some sort of movie that people thought was significant for like sixteen and a half minutes.  But he is better known as being one of the Two Coreys, along with Corey Feldman.  In the 1980s they were young and famous and wealthy and brash, and they quickly became known for their partying around town.  Chicks dug them - a lot - and they liked to wear sunglasses and act like douchebags.  But it wasn't to last.
     Like many child actors, Corey Haim did two things as he grew up.  First of all he had problems with drugs.  Lots of problems.  He told the British tabloid The Sun that at one point he was taking 85 downers a day.  That's not good, especially when you started taking them because of your other drug addictions.  He also states several times that he felt that he let drugs ruin his career, which is bad because he needed his career so very badly.
      That was the other way in which he followed other child actors.  He always had this need, this craving, for a little more fame.  A little more fame.  A little more fame.  He had to be on camera, he had to have his face and his name out there.  He was the kind of guy you would see on I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here or on Celebrity Fit Club.  Actually, he was the kind of guy who would gain sixty pounds so he could qualify for Celebrity Fit Club so he could make an appearance on The Soup every other week or so.
       His last attempt to extend his fifteen minutes of fame came not too long ago, when he and Feldman had a show on A&E that was sort of like a bad sitcom being played out in real life.  First of all, why it was on A&E boggles my mind, for it was definitely not art and it was barely entertainment.  Anyway, while Feldman grew up, got married, sort of made a normal life for himself, Haim never could, so he moved in with the Feldmans and brough along a TV crew to film the whole thing.  I always knew it was hokey but now that I type it I realize just how cliché it really is.  Anyway, as would be expected Feldman was the normal guy and Haim was the one who failed to realize that it wasn't 1985 anymore and that maybe he should grow up, or at least let Feldman do the same without interruption.
      And that was kind of the last straw, I think.  Once you are willing to be pathetic and do so on camera, just for the recognition and the quick buck, that is when you need to draw the line.  That is when you have sunk below Kathy Griffin and the D-List.  Watching that show, you always got the sense that Haim was the driving force behind its existence, not that he thought of it on his own, but more that he was approached by some producers somewhere and talked Feldman into it.  It was almost like Feldman was doing it just to help out his buddy for old time's sake.  So sad.
      So Corey Haim attempted to extend his fifteen minutes of fame time and time again, but was never quite successful.  In the end it just seemed like the longest fifteen minutes in the history of time, like the last fifteen minutes of work on a boring Friday, or the fifteen minutes you have to drive to make it to the next rest stop on the highway when you REALLY have to pee.  I can't say I blame him for his efforts, though, because when you are a teenager and you are cast into fame, when you are cast into the world of entertainment, you really don't know anything else.  To go out at 25 and get a new career when you've been in show business for ten years is like the average Joe having to totally switch careers at 40, and it's like going from being a police officer on the streets to crunching numbers in a cubicle for a faceless corporation.  Culture shock for sure. 
      Add that to mounting debt for medical expenses and back taxes and it was a pretty bleak picture for the almost-40-year-old Haim.  He filed for bankruptcy - Chapter 11 - in 1997, listing only a few thousand dollars in cash, clothing, and royalty rights as assets up against at leat $200,000 in debts.  While that wouldn't be surprising for the average American, that is pretty sad for someone who once sat on top of the world.  One can only wonder at how much of the money he made went up his nose, into his veins, or through a bong over the years.
      They don't know how Corey Haim died yet, the autopsy hasn't been conducted.  What we do know is he died at 2:15 am on March 10, 2010 in a hospital in Burbank; that he was 38 at the time; that he was suffering from flu-like symptoms, and that he was taking prescription and over-the-counter drugs.  I wouldn't be suprised if the autopsy found a cocktail of drugs in his system, like msot young celebrities they find on the floors of their homes these days.  It's not that all celebrities are druggies, but with the past and the circumstance it is hard not to jump to that conclusion with Haim.  After all, this the man who once called himself "a chronic relapser for the rest of [his] life." As the adage goes, if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck.  Even if it IS a duck who had the longest fifteen minutes of fame ever it seems.

No comments: