Hey, let's rip on Toyota some more. I know it's fashionable and I so desperately want to be trendy, so here are some more thoughts and questions that I have about the car maker who is so big they own their own city:
- If I buy a Toyota will I get everywhere faster because the brakes don't work and the accelerator sticks down?
- Along those lines, wouldn't it stand to reason that Toyota should be winning every race in which they enter? I mean, maybe not in Formula One because those cars are so specialized and whatnot, but all the NASCAR Toyotas are based on Camrys, so don't you think their accelerators sticking down would give them a speed advantage, or at least limit driver fatigue in some way? We should get some college kids to study this.
- Speaking of breaks, the government has begun investigating breaking issues (I did that on purpose you know. I understand it should be "braking issues" but I liked the pun) on the high and mighty Toyota Prius after claims that the brakes do not engage immediately when the pedal is depressed if the car is switching between electric and gas propulsion. Since I never liked the Prius to begin with, let me take this shot across its bow: What does it matter if the brakes don't work right, odds are you aren't going fast enough to run into anything anyway. Am I right?
- I am still waiting on a Toyota to plow into a bridge abutment because its accelerator sticks. Still waiting.
- One of the pieces of advice that was given by Toyota when this sticky accelerator problem was first mentioned was to use a combination of the breaks and the emergency or parking break to help stop the vehicle. It seems to me that they forgot the part where you put it in neutral first. That would be my first instinct especially since Toyota doesn't seem to be able to make brakes anymore either.
- Let's be honest, there is really nothing wrong with your Toyota, or with Toyota itself. The little pickup truck that you bought from them in 1986 that still runs like a champ and gets 41 MPG for you on your way to work; that is the real Toyota. The stuff that is happening now? Those faulty parts were made by a company somewhere in Indiana. Let's hope that Hyundai, Subaru, Honda, BMW, Kia, and all the other foreign car manufacturers building cars here in America don't find that out or they will never buy another part from an American manufacturer again.
- SMASH! There is the bridge abutment thing that I was talking about. Just kidding. Your chances of actually being in an accident caused by this flaw in your gas pedal is very, very minuscule. In fact, I believe most pedals show other signs of problems before they stuck open, for instance they become hard to depress or they don't return when depressed very quickly. So look for the warning signs first. You are way more likely to die as a result of the whole floor mat thing anyway.
- Oh, you forgot about that? Yeah, your accelerator that might already be stick might also be held down by your floor mat. Uh huh. You should probably take that thing out of your car and just live with the dirty carpet for a while. That is common sense. Or maybe purchase an aftermarket floor mat that won't get you killed.
- Just so you don't think that I am picking totally on the poor folks over at Toyota, Honda AND Ford have had major recalls in the past couple of weeks too, so don't worry. Everyone seems to have the Pinto problem lately.