Thursday, February 04, 2010

Random Thoughts

I spent like two hours last night trying to cook up something to write for you, Company, but I failed like a college freshman with an 8 am class. So that means you are stuck with some random thoughts:

- I know, I probably could have turned all of these random thoughts into posts of their own, but you know what? I am lazy and that is a lot of work. Plus, I had to put the garbage out which at the Worldwide Headquarters is a surprising spectacle.

- I have always hated the word "enjoy." I am not against the meaning of it, I just don't like that word. Let's add "community" to it. I am going to smack the next person who talks to be about their community, and if they say that they enjoy the community I might just have to smack myself.

- A banker in Australia got caught on television looking at nudie pictures. Not like totally hardcore pictures, but more like soft core stuff. Like a Page 2 Girl in England or maybe something from the calendar your grandpa kept in the garage when your mom was little. So this guy is clicking away, his back to the camera and his monitor very much facing it, as his colleague gives a live interview on Channel 7. Just to the our left of the interviewees head you can see it all going on, especially when he looks at the super big picture. But wait, it gets better. Right about the end, the guy wheels around in his chair and realizes that he is caught, red handed, or probably purple headed is a better description. It's hilarious. Let's watch.

The girl that he is looking at is model Miranda Kerr. Here she is in case you would like a better look.

I can see why he was checking her out. Needless to say, he's in a lot of trouble with his company. A lot of trouble. She just might be worth it though as I look at that picture...

- If I went to the United Kingdom, Japan, Australia, South Africa, or one of the other nations that drive on the left side of the road, and I rented a car that was a manual shift and I had to drive around, I would totally fuck it up. I mean, I know that all the stuff is basically in the same place relative to the driver except for the shift lever, and the the shift pattern is generally the same, but I would in my mind try to make it a mirror image, so I would always be shifting the wrong way and I would totally shred the car's gearbox and transmission. Good thing it's a rental, right?

- There has been something going on with Blogger tonight because none of the tricks that I usually use aren't working. I am not sure that I can cope emotionally with that. That is what Dr. J would say in this situation.

- A German guy walked out on the ice to photograph a sunset and couldn't find his way back to shore. This is what happens when we put GPS units in every car: people lose their ability to find their way. I would have assumed that he was following his GPS unit except he didn't end up stranded on a mountainous Oregon logging road in a seven foot deep snowdrift. Because that's where everyone who follows their GPS seems to end up - that was the joke.

- The more I think about it I don't understand why people like NASCAR so much, but then again I like curling so I probably shouldn't talk.

- It is a sad commentary on my food selection that I couldn't make dinner tonight because I didn't have any milk. Seems to me that points to a lack of fresh fruits and vegetables, and good things that are healthy for me. Milk is the base of everything cream based, which is the base of everything that ends with the words "high cholesterol." Yeah, I am from the Midwest.

- I have never been to Ohio and I feel like that is the kind of place that I should go. Like down to southern Ohio in the hills and valleys or to Cincinnati to have some Cincinnati chili. Or just like to roll through the countryside on a two-lane. I should probably go to Cleveland or Akron or something too, just to say I had done it. But I am not going to the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame. That's because everyone can go there. You can go there, Company, because you are part of everyone.

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